Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Why you shouldn't believe The Alchemist

When you know what you want the whole world conspires you to achieve it
This is what is mentioned in The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. It's a quote mentioned by far too many people when things work out for them. But it's not bloody true. So stop quoting it as if it was the divine message of Thor.

If this quote was true the following would have happened by now:

1. Paraguay would have reached and won the World Cup final and the streets of Paraguay would've seen a pair of truly golden globes.

2. Lame ass reality shows in India would've been off air.

3. REN and MEGA channels would've been back on air.

And instead of a Lenovo T400, I would've had Monica Bellucci and Adriana Lima on my lap right now.

Point made! So stop quoting that lame piece of trash and just go out and party when things have worked for you. Or else I'll post 'congrates' and 'best luck' all over your social networking site page. The previous sentence would make sense to mostly COEP junta :)

Monday, June 21, 2010

It's not CONGRATES!

This was something I should have done a long time ago, but didn't coz I was a nicer guy a year ago. One year into professional life and you realize what a waste of time it is being nice to dumb-asses. So here it is, my rant of the day.

It's with people f***ing up words that they should not f*** up ever! Words like 'Congrats'. The next person who posts a wall post or a comment saying 'congrates' will be publicly whipped, I promise.

I do not claim to be Oxford educated, I have my own typos/genuine mistakes etc. But then if corrected, I do make an effort to change. But here we have stubborn freakos who want to 'congrate-ulate' me or others I know without knowing how to spell 'congrats' in the first place.

What's the harm in typing 'well done' or 'badhaaiyan', you obv don't know English if you're 20 something and still say 'congrates'. It's like saying 'heppy bday'. Unforgivable. Absolutely.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Arguably the most screwed up SMS I've read this year

Ok, this I found hilarious. I read the following SMS and couldn't believe how screwed up someone's English can be. This person wrote this message with the intent of saying something profound, but has no clue of context or pronunciation and what we get is a masterpiece of divine stupidity and jackassness!
Here is the SMS:

------------------------
Life is library
Love is temporary
God is great
Life is sweet
Yesterday is waste
Today is best
Tomorrow is taste
So enjoy everyday
--------------------------

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Awesome Chat Snippet

Awesome segment of a chat i just had with a school friend of mine who i last spoke to in 7th std.
-----------
Friend: howz life man
Me: i'm fine dude...in Pune, working for a management consulting firm. wat hav u been upto
5:25pm
Friend: I have a construction company
I have a textile company
5:26pm
Me: awesome... only thing left for me to say now is mere paas maa hai :D:D
-----

Needless to say, the spark of friendship is still just as fresh as it was a decade ago!!!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Inspiring Indian War Stories

This post is to declare my intention of starting a new blog very soon, which will be of a slightly serious nature. In the sense that it will be a set of stories of brave deeds of the Indian Armed Forces pre and post Independence.

I come from an Army background and hence have heard of a number of amazing war stories, things which civilians have never heard of, things which our textbooks should have, but don't. I am no historian and would never dare to write anything fictional about the Armed Forces ever. Hence what this blog will have, a set of excerpts of amazing true stories from all over the Internet and from some books.

I do hope you visit the blog once it is opened and I also hope it does excite you, entertain you and in some small way make you feel even more proud of being an Indian.

I don't intend to come across as being pretentious, but I am 22 years old now, and I have never heard anyone in the mass media focus on these amazing stories. If even one of these stories is new for you, the purpose of the blog will be served.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Why December was such a great movie month...





You have a roller coaster year, then have an incredibly busy December. You work your ass off all month, burn the midnight lamp, when even that goes off, you just bear the excess strain of the laptop light in your eyes and carry on working. But then comes that occasional evening when you decide that it's movie time. You pay big bucks for it and go to the theater... hoping, praying even, that at least it won't be a total waste of money. Then... all of a sudden, from nowhere you get to see something on the big screen that makes you thank God that you bought that ticket and came to the theater.

That happened to me twice in close succession this month. I saw two outstanding movies.

Avatar and 3 Idiots. I didn't even have time to write a review for Avatar, but now that I've just come home fresh from watching 3 Idiots, I think it'd be unfair to praise one while forgetting the other.

Avatar showed me special effects that totally made up for the super expensive price of the ticket. 3 Idiots showed us why Rajkumar Hirani is easily the best director of the decade and why Aamir is the Ace of Bollywood. Both the movies have amazing repeat value. Both have super expensive tickets, but both are totally worth it.

Avatar has brilliant special effects along with a decent storyline to back it up.

3 Idiots... IMHO is far far better than the book it is inspired from. The best moments of the movie have nothing to do with the book. That is why I loved the movie. You know that in the end everything will be fine, but you still are engrossed in the movie, rooting for the characters. Anything that has repeat value, has it because what you've seen impresses you so much that you want to see it again. That is what Avatar and 3 Idiots do to you. They make you enjoy the show so much, you just know it by the interval that you will be back in the queue to watch another show very soon.

Special mention to Boman Irani, whose performance in 3 Idiots seems extremely natural. I think he doesn't get enough credit for the incredible work he does in Raju Hirani movies, each movie he has been the pivotal antagonistic character [not a villain in the usual sense], but each time he plays the character so naturally that it's not Boman Irani you remember, you just remember Dr. Asthana or Lucky Singh or Viru Sahasrabuddhe aka Virus :P

All in all, a brilliant movie month. One can only hope there are more such months in the coming year. Thank you James Cameron and Raju Hirani!

Saturday, December 26, 2009

December

December 09 has been by far the busiest month of my life. Everything has been in fast motion. I've worked crazy hours [current personal record being 19 hours in the day], slept very little [an average of 4 hours for 2 straight weeks], spent an entire weekend working [a first ever] and still managed to catch Avatar, Rocket Singh, Paa [wtf] and a host of other movies that I found time to catch up with. I managed to keep in touch with friends no matter what. Basically, a lot happened.

Fortunately along with a lot of work, I did end up having a lot of fun as well.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Another insane clothing item

After the brilliant Ipod charging bra, here is the next path-breaking clothing item which deserves mention on the blog - the venetian blind shirt

Innovation zindabad :D

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Sachin Tendulkar - The shining star on a dark night

Today we saw a match in Hyderabad, which had one of the all time greatest ODI knocks by the man who has brought glory to India so many times that being a fan of the great man is an honour by itself.

The problem is that he is miles ahead of all the rest. Today's match for instance, just contrast the last ball catch he took with the rest of the team's efforts. Giving away 100 plus runs in the last 10 overs, how do you expect to win a game with bowlers who seem to be so secure in their mediocrity while Zaheer Khan is away? We so dearly miss Anil Kumble who actually used to put the breaks on the opposition. Mark my words, the Indian batting line up will face a similar fate once Sachin Tendulkar retires. These two men, have one huge factor in common. Determination. They have endured everything to win a match. Just think back to the game where Anil Kumble bowled with a broken jaw or the game where Sachin battled his aching back to battle Akram and co. in Chennai. A loss actually pains them. Both were miles ahead of their team mates.

The very fact that India looked like winning the game is a testimony to the Herculean effort of Mr. Sachin Tendulkar. 175 from 141 at the age of 36, batting from the first over till the 47th. What else can we ask of him? And it wasn't just the runs he scored, look at the way he did it. It was an honour to see him in action today, just as it is each time he graces the field.

During the match a friend of mine said, "Even after this innings some people will say, he doesn't play well when it counts". I told him that such remarks and comments don't deserve a reply. You can not give sight to the blind. Only fools will choose to criticize a legend like this when they should be catching every glimpse of his genius while it is still on display. In a few years there won't be the name Sachin Tendulkar on the score board when India plays. There wont be the name which tilts the game just by his mere presence. There will no longer be the man who gives us hope when there would be none if it weren't for him. We'd have these T20 wonders, people who think hitting 30 from 20 balls is a job well done. People who won't dive and would rather get run out. People who would buckle under the sheer pressure of having to chase 7 runs an over from ball one.

I for one just respect the fact that I have seen this man play innings like the one today, or the one at Sharjah, or the one in Johannesburg against Pakistan in the World Cup, or the one in the Chennai Test, innings' which were decades apart at times and yet reminded you of the single factor binding all of them - Sachin Tendulkar carrying the hopes of a billion.

In school, the entire lot of us used to watch him play, in college it was the same at the canteen or the hostel mess, now I am in office and still when he plays everyone makes it a point to see him score his 17000th run, or his 45th century, those who can't or are in a meeting have Cricinfo on their screens.

I will henceforth never bother to respond to a critic of this legend, who is above all petty complaints. I have seen a man who in one lifetime has played innings that others won't even if they were given ten.

About the match we just saw, the bowlers are the main culprits, this is not a bowling attack worthy of a team that wants to be the World No. 1! The batting line up hasn't got the patience or determination to win consistently. At the crucial times the only one who stands up to be counted is Sachin Tendulkar whose brilliance is such that even his severest critics have to applaud.

Todays game proves that Sachin Tendulkar is still and will always be the greatest batsman of our time.

Things that went wrong today:

1. Fielding
2. Bowling
3. Crappy batting by the Young brigade.
4. A thankless presentation ceremony speech by MS Dhoni [for whom I have lost a lot of respect]

Something about MSD, if you see the stats and check the number of times we have won due to Sachin under his captaincy, you'll be alarmed at how much Sachin's brilliance has contributed to his success.

Anyways, at the end of the day, Sachin will play many more such awesome innings, we will win most of the times and on a few occasions lose! But the one thing the rest of the team must remember, something that Sachin mentioned in his Man of the Match speech, "He is proud to play for India". It's India you are playing for! If only the others realized this, we would win most of these crunch games.


Thanks for yet another innings of a lifetime Sachin. Everyday your legend grows bigger!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Paisa vasool match that India lost

I've seen a lot of cricket right since childhood, the memory of that India Pak game where Tendulkar brought us to the brink of victory before falling still hurts. Even though India lost the match, it was an enthralling game which you'll remember forever. Since then India has improved as a team and our complete reliance on one man has come to an end.

Today however I saw a different kind of paisa vasool match that we lost. I was out all day and finally started watching the game at the stage when we required an impossible 42 runs from 18 balls and just Bhajji and Pravin at the crease who could hold the bat, Ishant and Nehra don't qualify to be called batsmen even when they have the bats in their hands. The awesome hitting that followed for the next 12 balls was so insane that it easily made up for the eventual loss, just seeing Watson getting smashed for 20 runs in the penultimate over was worth it. 9 of the last over was very likely but then, the momentum died after Bhajji left. Cricketers like Bhajji are crucial for cricket, they are the entertainers. When Bhajji bats, you will be entertained. And when he bats the way he did today, it's full too paisa vasool.

Well, seeing the crowds in the stadium, one can safely say that cricket of any kind is safe in India and the close finish shows promise for this series. Time for Sachin Tendulkar to show his masterclass yet again. Trust me non-believers he'll come to the party soon!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Inglourious Basterds Movie Review



So I finally saw the eagerly anticipated Inglourious Basterds this weekend, and well I liked it a lot. Primary reasons, it's like any Tarantino movie, fast paced, fun and contains awesome characters with killer dialogue.
The story of the movie is simple, it involves a plot to kill the top brass of the Nazi regime when they are in a theater for a propaganda movie premiere. But screw the plot, the acting is top notch, I loved the cameo by Mike Myers playing a British officer who gives a briefing about the mission. One thing I must say, Brad Pitt was a total waste in the movie, him talking in the hillbilly accent was actually irritating and a distraction. But... but, but the movie is taken to the next level by one, standout performance by an actor named Christopher Waltz playing the character of Col. Hans Landa.



Col. Landa is the definition of an evil, cunning Nazi called the Jew Hunter. The opening scene where he has this insane conversation with a French man who is a Jewish sympathizer is brilliant. The dialogue in which he compares Nazi's and Jew's to hawks and rats is brilliant [no I am not a Nazi, it's just that the dialogue was freaking awesome].

In my humble opinion he totally deserves and Oscar for the portrayal of Hans Landa and in all likelihood will get it.

The movie is totally enjoyable and must be seen. One thing I must mention, a movie like Inglourious Basterds, which has dialogues which can be considered offensive by the Jewish community is released without any incident all over the world and becomes a super hit. One wonders if India, once upon a time a tolerant country is losing it's sense of tolerance! Think about it, maybe it's time Indians should Wake Up!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Incidents - 2

Here's an assortment of random non-topical stuff from the past few weeks, it's been a while since I posted some original crappy stuff on the blog, so here goes...


My friend asked me if I've changed my ancient, non-digital-looking Nokia 2300 and I said, "No". He asked me why? I said, "A crappy mobile... it's like a bad GF, u wanna get rid of it, but u're just too poor for a new one!"

I went to Herbs and Spices this month with some of my friends and there was this waiter who was acting really weird. For e.g. we ordered 4 soups and when we asked him to repeat the order he totally got it wrong, sweet corn was replaced by lung fung, wtf? So we were all a bit irritated by what happened, then he gets the soup and we've not even had a taste of it when he says in a slightly rude tone, "Main course boliye". I look up at him and say, "Main course!"
All four of us burst out laughing, on hindsight it's one of those stupid incidents which I really hope I don't repeat again till I'm 90 years old and probably senile, but the waiter totally started behaving normally after that and we all had some silly fun. I can't really believe I actually did that, but I guess it's one of those things!

One keeps getting calls from all kinds of banks who are so eager to dish out loans and credit cards to me, it's almost as if they've got too much money with them. The thing is they've also become smart, they call from different phone numbers and each time it starts with, "Hello, is that Mr. XYZ" and Mr. XYZ is like, "Yeah". "I'm calling from Fraudibank, would you like a personal loan?" Mr. XYZ has no qualms in ending the call. But then the next day you get a call from Bank of Balochistan asking you if you want a BOB Card and you're wondering how many banks really are there in this world? Now after all the exaggeration in this incident, time for a real narrative, I got this call asking me, "Sir, we would like to designate for you a Wealth Manager, when would you be free to meet him?" I say, "As soon as I have some wealth!"

That's all folks!!!

Monday, September 28, 2009

Google News - Confused


I just noticed this a few minutes back and thought it deserves a mention. At 8:17 AM today if one were to use Google News and go to their Sports section, something random was on display. An article about Harbhajan Singh with Dr. Manmohan Singh's photo alongside the link! Dr. Singh's photo link then takes you to this article about Indo-Pak relations what is that story doing in the sports page?

A little confused, Google News?

This man is a genius!


Robin Williams is arguably one of the greatest entertainers of all time. The man is not only a great comedian, he is also an exceptional actor. One only needs to see Dead Poets Society, which I saw some years back and it blew me away! Carpe Diem has ever since been in my thoughts every day.

Why am I suddenly writing this? Well, because while India and Australia were waiting for the rains to abate, which eventually didn't happen, I was busy searching and then enjoying some amazing stand up acts of Robin Williams. I had seen the entire Robin Williams Live on Broadway DVD in TY, but that's just the tip of the iceberg. This is comic genius in it's purest form, the man cracks hilarious jokes on the fly! A lot of my friends haven't seen much of this genius in action so I'm posting a lot of video links which I think should be seen. So whenever you have time, just check them out, Robin Williams ladies and gentlemen!

Robin Williams on Obama and Bush: Sitting in the audience, Prince Charles and family amongst others!
Robin Williams on American Idol
Robin Williams and Owen Wilson: Robin Williams lets it rip in this spontaneous interview while Owen Wilson gets completely overshadowed
Robin Williams on Golf: My personal favorite [profanity alert] from his famous Live On Broadway performance.


Take a bow Robin Williams and thanks for all the laughs, looking forward to a lot more!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

They're Back!



2 of the 3 shows I've followed over the past few years had great starts to their new seasons. How I Met Your Mother and the great House MD. I'm waiting for 30 Rock next month.

Season 5 of House ended with Dr. Gregory House having voluntarily admitted himself in an asylum for curing his delusions, season 6 starts of just where it left and in such an awesome way. The best thing about the show is how it dares to break boundaries, imagine a season premiere without any of the major characters apart from House himself and a fleeting glimpse of his best friend Wilson. The premiere was a 2 episode special and a great start to a great show.





How I Met Your Mother started off pretty nicely as well, finally we get to see Barney and Robin actually as a couple, I guess as far as Ted is concerned he might take 10 seasons to get to his real wife, or maybe he could end up saying, "Well, kids, I just can't remember who your mother is 'cause I think you both were adopted!"




But more on House, I am eagerly looking forward to all the episodes of the show, it's the only 40 minute per episode show I am hooked onto along with Boston Legal. So... I'm glad they're back!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Stop offering me a smoke!

Ok, this happened about an hour back. I had just narrated an incident that took place in Magarpatta City where, one day I was chilling on the benches at the ground floor of Tower XII when a gentleman, very kindly, but unnecessarily offered me a smoke, which I declined, simply because I Do Not Smoke!

Then we finish our dinner at Shisha an hour or so ago and were standing near the exit when a random gentleman - can you guess it - offers me a smoke!!! WTF!!!

I am so sorry kind smoke-sharing men of Pune, I do not smoke!!! Period. The next guy who offers me a smoke is really going to have it from me. So please keep your precious slow poison kits to yourself, I do not smoke!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Bose

Ok, so I bought a BOSE headphone last week, it was delivered ahead of time and I heard some of my favorite songs on it. It is AWESOME! Honestly, it is unbelievably good. No song will sound as good on any other headphone. I recommend it to everyone who is a crazy enough music lover to spend some extra cash and buy it. True, it is costly, but if you love something you can't put a price on it. Music is one thing I love, and Bose is my medium to connect!

Friday, July 31, 2009

How I Spent July

July 2009, a month where a lot of stuff happened. First full month at work. A lot happens in a month, you - make new friends, strengthen old friendships, watch new movies, get addicted to Boston Legal, learn to say Denny Crane to those who watch and love the show like you do, fall sick, recover, get back to work, have insane fun on weekends, slog like a dog on weekdays, play TT in office and occasionally win, spend a lot of your own money in a matter of hours and get surprised about the fact that you don't really care, feel proud that your life isn't tied to money, then realize that you aren't a lunatic in terms of spending cash when you discover the word 'savings', start detecting fraudulent finance agents and ignoring them, watch Megan Fox and renew your pledge of going to the US and other developed countries especially France [Laetitia Casta reigns supreme], switch from fun mode to work mode and vice versa, hear MJ songs and watch his videos and acknowledge once again his musical genius and supremacy in live performances, toy around with ideas of Bose headphones and new cellphones and then reject the ideas for the time being, spend hours on the Laptop even at home just because it's new and you can access the net from the balcony and chat/talk with people at the wee hours of the morning and watch the pre-dawn sky, utilize every bit of the awesome Airtel broadband connection, read the newspaper while having breakfast before going to office like a professional, come to grips with cab music, catch up with age old friends, sleep off Sundays and then realize that you don't suffer from the I-hate-Mondays syndrome, have pizzas for free at office, pay for pizzas at home, watch England kick Aussie ass for a change and enjoy every bit of it, realize that your next David Flabbergaster post is one day away, have a tough time describing how the days are flying by when at one time they used to crawl at a snail's pace, go to sleep after writing a rare simple blog post with no humor it.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

David Flabbergaster: Realizations of most professionals

The following quotes are a compilation of experiences of many people who have shared them with the greatest engineer ever - David Flabbergaster.

1. The probability of a good song being played in a cab is lower than that of a 100 year old man lifting a bulldozer using only his fake teeth.

2. The biggest question in a professional's life is - will today's lunch be worth the walk to the canteen?

3. There are areas in every office which are as cold as Siachen

4. Whenever you're actually doing work, very few people notice it, the moment you've just about opened any fun thing, everyone passing buy will notice

5. Hearing music while working is no longer a privilege, it's a way of life

6. Whenever you're in a hurry, the elevators will always be on the furthest floor from the one you're on

There are many more such experiences which David Flabbergaster will share in the future, but right now he has a meeting, in which he has to give a presentation on "Whether office buildings should have escalators in place of lifts - The benefit being that even if a power outage occurs, employees will have no excuse to come late since they can always climb the stairs!"