David Flabbergaster strikes again

David Flabbergaster finally found some time in his busy schedule to give us some more snippets from his random life. Hope you find these snippets interesting.

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Guy1: Have a Safe Diwali
David Flabbergaster: Yep, I make sure I always use a condom :P

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Girl completes a ride on a go-kart. At the end of it, some ppl ask her how she felt about it.

She says: It was OK, a little too short, I wish it would've been a little longer.
David Flabbergaster: That is the complaint of 90% of women in the world

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David Flabbergaster: While giving his opinion on two hot women who were identical twins - "Identical twins cannot be called identical twins, unless it is confirmed that they have identical twins."

David Flabbergaster: Realizations of most professionals

The following quotes are a compilation of experiences of many people who have shared them with the greatest engineer ever - David Flabbergaster.

1. The probability of a good song being played in a cab is lower than that of a 100 year old man lifting a bulldozer using only his fake teeth.

2. The biggest question in a professional's life is - will today's lunch be worth the walk to the canteen?

3. There are areas in every office which are as cold as Siachen

4. Whenever you're actually doing work, very few people notice it, the moment you've just about opened any fun thing, everyone passing buy will notice

5. Hearing music while working is no longer a privilege, it's a way of life

6. Whenever you're in a hurry, the elevators will always be on the furthest floor from the one you're on

There are many more such experiences which David Flabbergaster will share in the future, but right now he has a meeting, in which he has to give a presentation on "Whether office buildings should have escalators in place of lifts - The benefit being that even if a power outage occurs, employees will have no excuse to come late since they can always climb the stairs!"

David Flabbergaster Is Back

Some more random quotes and stuff from the legend himself:

I may not know how to write an SQL Query, or how to make a webpage, or how to write code in C or Java or any other language, but I do know how to make programs run... and sometimes in life, that's all you need to do!

The only reason for a guy to cry at a farewell party in his Engg college isn't nostalgia - it's if he walks in for refreshments and realizes all the drinks are gone and there's no food left.

I looked into her eyes, she looked at mine, she smiled at me, I smiled at her, then she asked me if I had some change, I told her No and the signal turned green and we never met again.

The people you have harmed in your previous life will come back to haunt you in your current life by trying to destroy you every year - we know them as THE EXTERNAL EXAMINER


I look at the sex ratio in some states of India and somehow i know that if the old tradition of no inter caste/state marriages continues, there'll be a lot of bachelor dudes left in some parts of the country.

If you ever think Himesh is the worst singer of all time, then please do not forget the legendary Anu Malik, I still shudder when I remember the songs - "My Adorable Darling, I think of you every night every morning" [from Main Khiladi Tu Anari], or the painfully disastrous "Bahar baarish ho rahi hai, it's raining... it's raining... it's raining! Mera Dil Ro Raha hai, it's paining... it's paining... it's paining" [from some God-forsaken album]

I had a nightmare that Megan Fox called on my cell, and it was not reachable!

If anyone ever criticises the summer heat, he's obviously never been to a quality swimming pool, where the sun's rays and good old global warming make women want to wear 2 piece swimming suits!

Dear diary, today I moved from Base 1 to Base 2, it was a lot of fun.
Dear diary, today I moved from Base 2 to Base 3, it was much more fun.
Dear diary, today I finally reached Base 4. What an achievement!
Dear diary, this game of Shaolin Samurai Sword Fight has only 5 bases, it's too short. Damn these demo version games!


Ted Mosby from HIMYM once said the single greatest word in the English dictionary is "YES". Well, he obviously never asked his boss the question - So am I fired?

Who is David Flabbergaster?

Who is David Flabbergaster and why should I read what he has to say?

David Flabbergaster, is a great engineer who like many great engineers, hasn't done anything you've heard of. And you should read what he has to say, because you are here out of choice, obviously, you have nothing better to do!


One day David Flabbergaster decided that he should spread his knowledge to his fellow engineers. He chose to do so in the form of random quotes, only people who are truly knowledgeable and smart can understand the depth of his sayings and teachings.

Here are a few of his quotes -

An engineer who has a girlfriend is truly happy, an engineer who doesn't have a girlfriend tries to fake it!

English is the best language to use while making out... somehow "chalo, dusrey kaksh par jaatey hain" doesn't sound as good as "lets move onto base two".


The real purpose, the final destination of life is to get rich, find a beautiful woman and stay happy... by taking up engineering, I diverged from the path that could lead to any of these.


I now know for sure, that most guys believe that the real purpose of dating a girl is so that one can put up a pic with her on their Orkut profile.

The day an engineer is free of frustration would be the day politics is free from corruption, so forget it!

The most unfortunate man in this world is the one who's beautiful girlfriend dumps him after just one day, and during that one day he didn't even have a camera!

Watching FTV will not help you in meeting hot women in real life.

Voting for a reality show is 2nd worst method of spending your money, the worst is voting for a poll on Aaj Tak!

If the hottest girl in class, looks at the geekiest guy in the class and starts talking to him; there can be only one meaning, she wants his assignments!

If you are in an engineering college and see a beautiful, stunning, gorgeous girl walk right upto you... you're definitely dreaming!

Dressing nicely for an interview wont help you if your resume sucks!

Men have to wear suits, blazers and tuxedos to impress women; women on the other hand have to wear nothing!

Before I hit puberty, my most visited website was Wikipedia, after that it became Chicipedia.

There was once a time when engineers were happy people, then App Mech was born!

Many more such quotes will follow, as and when David Flabbergaster decides to bestow his knowledge for the benefit of engineeringkind!