Why you shouldn't believe The Alchemist

When you know what you want the whole world conspires you to achieve it

This is what is mentioned in The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. It's a quote mentioned by far too many people when things work out for them. But it's not bloody true. So stop quoting it as if it was the divine message of Thor.

If this quote was true the following would have happened by now:

1. Paraguay would have reached and won the World Cup final and the streets of Paraguay would've seen a pair of truly golden globes.

2. Lame ass reality shows in India would've been off air.

3. REN and MEGA channels would've been back on air.

And instead of a Lenovo T400, I would've had Monica Bellucci and Adriana Lima on my lap right now.

Point made! So stop quoting that lame piece of trash and just go out and party when things have worked for you. Or else I'll post 'congrates' and 'best luck' all over your social networking site page. The previous sentence would make sense to mostly COEP junta :)

Staying hungry and foolish

If you're foolish, you'll stay hungry!

If you stay hungry and you stay foolish, you're probably a retard on a diet!

You can win, as soon as you stop reading crap and start doing some actual work.

David Flabbergaster Is Back

Some more random quotes and stuff from the legend himself:

I may not know how to write an SQL Query, or how to make a webpage, or how to write code in C or Java or any other language, but I do know how to make programs run... and sometimes in life, that's all you need to do!

The only reason for a guy to cry at a farewell party in his Engg college isn't nostalgia - it's if he walks in for refreshments and realizes all the drinks are gone and there's no food left.

I looked into her eyes, she looked at mine, she smiled at me, I smiled at her, then she asked me if I had some change, I told her No and the signal turned green and we never met again.

The people you have harmed in your previous life will come back to haunt you in your current life by trying to destroy you every year - we know them as THE EXTERNAL EXAMINER


I look at the sex ratio in some states of India and somehow i know that if the old tradition of no inter caste/state marriages continues, there'll be a lot of bachelor dudes left in some parts of the country.

If you ever think Himesh is the worst singer of all time, then please do not forget the legendary Anu Malik, I still shudder when I remember the songs - "My Adorable Darling, I think of you every night every morning" [from Main Khiladi Tu Anari], or the painfully disastrous "Bahar baarish ho rahi hai, it's raining... it's raining... it's raining! Mera Dil Ro Raha hai, it's paining... it's paining... it's paining" [from some God-forsaken album]

I had a nightmare that Megan Fox called on my cell, and it was not reachable!

If anyone ever criticises the summer heat, he's obviously never been to a quality swimming pool, where the sun's rays and good old global warming make women want to wear 2 piece swimming suits!

Dear diary, today I moved from Base 1 to Base 2, it was a lot of fun.
Dear diary, today I moved from Base 2 to Base 3, it was much more fun.
Dear diary, today I finally reached Base 4. What an achievement!
Dear diary, this game of Shaolin Samurai Sword Fight has only 5 bases, it's too short. Damn these demo version games!


Ted Mosby from HIMYM once said the single greatest word in the English dictionary is "YES". Well, he obviously never asked his boss the question - So am I fired?

Who is David Flabbergaster?

Who is David Flabbergaster and why should I read what he has to say?

David Flabbergaster, is a great engineer who like many great engineers, hasn't done anything you've heard of. And you should read what he has to say, because you are here out of choice, obviously, you have nothing better to do!


One day David Flabbergaster decided that he should spread his knowledge to his fellow engineers. He chose to do so in the form of random quotes, only people who are truly knowledgeable and smart can understand the depth of his sayings and teachings.

Here are a few of his quotes -

An engineer who has a girlfriend is truly happy, an engineer who doesn't have a girlfriend tries to fake it!

English is the best language to use while making out... somehow "chalo, dusrey kaksh par jaatey hain" doesn't sound as good as "lets move onto base two".


The real purpose, the final destination of life is to get rich, find a beautiful woman and stay happy... by taking up engineering, I diverged from the path that could lead to any of these.


I now know for sure, that most guys believe that the real purpose of dating a girl is so that one can put up a pic with her on their Orkut profile.

The day an engineer is free of frustration would be the day politics is free from corruption, so forget it!

The most unfortunate man in this world is the one who's beautiful girlfriend dumps him after just one day, and during that one day he didn't even have a camera!

Watching FTV will not help you in meeting hot women in real life.

Voting for a reality show is 2nd worst method of spending your money, the worst is voting for a poll on Aaj Tak!

If the hottest girl in class, looks at the geekiest guy in the class and starts talking to him; there can be only one meaning, she wants his assignments!

If you are in an engineering college and see a beautiful, stunning, gorgeous girl walk right upto you... you're definitely dreaming!

Dressing nicely for an interview wont help you if your resume sucks!

Men have to wear suits, blazers and tuxedos to impress women; women on the other hand have to wear nothing!

Before I hit puberty, my most visited website was Wikipedia, after that it became Chicipedia.

There was once a time when engineers were happy people, then App Mech was born!

Many more such quotes will follow, as and when David Flabbergaster decides to bestow his knowledge for the benefit of engineeringkind!

Original Quotes

This is a very mean quote, but it was funny at the time. While describing a highly intelligent but horrendous looking woman.

"She's so ugly, she has to study" - Harshvardhan L Pande


"Just because I'm a vegetarian, it doesn't mean I can't eat non-veg food" - Jai Goenka

"You don't have sex with everyone you love; similarly you don't have to love everyone you have sex with" - A girl we also call Robin, I think it was the year 2004.

"Sometimes I watch Eurotrip and wonder, where in the world are all these hot college girls, and then I remember I'm in COEP"

"I'm twenty years old, and considering I'll be fat, old and bald by forty, it means I've wasted half my sex life doing nothing!"

"An Airtel SIM card is not a SIM card, it just looks like a SIM card but it doesn't work. Like all those Leo Matel toys that look so cool in the ads but once you own one of them they just fuck your brains by just doint nothing"

"Why do traffic cops catch me on days when I am broke!" - Rohit

"The college mail is another term for legal spamming"

"I studied and didn't get marks, I didn't study and still didn't get marks. Lesson learnt, don't study just pray that you're sitting around someone who gets marks" - A close but shy friend of mine.

"Yesterday was the best day of my cell life. I tried calling a number and I got through on the first attempt" - Me commenting on my Airtel connection.

Everlasting quotes

“All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring; renewed shall be blade that was broken, the crownless again shall be king.” - J.R.R. Tolkien

"If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it." - Andy Rooney

"Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.” - Plato


"What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.” - Albert Pike