Why December was such a great movie month...

You have a roller coaster year, then have an incredibly busy December. You work your ass off all month, burn the midnight lamp, when even that goes off, you just bear the excess strain of the laptop light in your eyes and carry on working. But then comes that occasional evening when you decide that it's movie time. You pay big bucks for it and go to the theater... hoping, praying even, that at least it won't be a total waste of money. Then... all of a sudden, from nowhere you get to see something on the big screen that makes you thank God that you bought that ticket and came to the theater.

That happened to me twice in close succession this month. I saw two outstanding movies.

Avatar and 3 Idiots. I didn't even have time to write a review for Avatar, but now that I've just come home fresh from watching 3 Idiots, I think it'd be unfair to praise one while forgetting the other.

Avatar showed me special effects that totally made up for the super expensive price of the ticket. 3 Idiots showed us why Rajkumar Hirani is easily the best director of the decade and why Aamir is the Ace of Bollywood. Both the movies have amazing repeat value. Both have super expensive tickets, but both are totally worth it.

Avatar has brilliant special effects along with a decent storyline to back it up.

3 Idiots... IMHO is far far better than the book it is inspired from. The best moments of the movie have nothing to do with the book. That is why I loved the movie. You know that in the end everything will be fine, but you still are engrossed in the movie, rooting for the characters. Anything that has repeat value, has it because what you've seen impresses you so much that you want to see it again. That is what Avatar and 3 Idiots do to you. They make you enjoy the show so much, you just know it by the interval that you will be back in the queue to watch another show very soon.

Special mention to Boman Irani, whose performance in 3 Idiots seems extremely natural. I think he doesn't get enough credit for the incredible work he does in Raju Hirani movies, each movie he has been the pivotal antagonistic character [not a villain in the usual sense], but each time he plays the character so naturally that it's not Boman Irani you remember, you just remember Dr. Asthana or Lucky Singh or Viru Sahasrabuddhe aka Virus :P

All in all, a brilliant movie month. One can only hope there are more such months in the coming year. Thank you James Cameron and Raju Hirani!

December

December 09 has been by far the busiest month of my life. Everything has been in fast motion. I've worked crazy hours [current personal record being 19 hours in the day], slept very little [an average of 4 hours for 2 straight weeks], spent an entire weekend working [a first ever] and still managed to catch Avatar, Rocket Singh, Paa [wtf] and a host of other movies that I found time to catch up with. I managed to keep in touch with friends no matter what. Basically, a lot happened.

Fortunately along with a lot of work, I did end up having a lot of fun as well.

A brilliant photo of a brilliant Tendulkar shot

Source Link - http://blogs.cricinfo.com/shotselection/archives/2009/11/tendulkar_turns_it_around.php

This photo looks like it's a straight drive, but since the wicketkeeper is facing Sachin, it obviously is not a straight drive. Tendulkar used this shot against Warne in his first innings century in the third Test in Chennai in 2001. A match we eventually won! Stuff that only true cricket lovers will enjoy. Brilliant photo!

Funkiest College Names

I have no words to explain this, just take a look. This is actually true.


I wish I would've known of this college before I joined COEP :D

American History X - Review

This is yet another, revisited movie review. I just saw this movie an hour back, thank God I skipped the De Dana Dan outing or else I would've missed watching American History X. A truly amazing movie about racism in America and how devastating it can be when the youth get misguided.

This movie is a must watch simply for the stunning screenplay, direction and for one of the best ever performances by Edward Norton. In the movie he seamlessly portrays three different versions of the same characters through flashbacks and in the present.

The transformation in his persona is so amazing - take for instance the flashback of his impressionable teen days, he actually acts and looks the age.



Then as the adult Neo-Nazi White Supremacist who goes all out in his hate based on race. The telling sequence, where he slaughters a black gang member, the look that he gives as he is being arrested - genius!



And then, once again, the transformed and repentant man who finally realizes what a wrong path he had chosen.



Special mention to the director for not being biased for or against any race while making the movie, it is not some propaganda/preachy movie. It is a brilliant showcase of what hate does to society.

A little lesson in the movie which is applicable in all intolerant situations, where misguided youngsters are driven on a path of anger and hatred by someone who rides the wave for personal benefit, is shown through a perfectly crafted scene in the movie. Derek Vinyard [Edward Norton] has his illusion of White Supremacy shattered in prison. As he lies broken on a hospital bed, his former history teacher [an African American] comes to console him. Derek still clings on to his hate philosophy though he accepts things aren't what he thought they were. That's when Prof Sweeney and Derek have this conversation:

Bob Sweeney: There was a moment... when I used to blame everything and everyone... for all the pain and suffering and vile things that happened to me, that I saw happen to my people. Used to blame everybody. Blamed white people, blamed society, blamed God. I didn't get no answers 'cause I was asking the wrong questions. You have to ask the right questions.
Derek Vinyard: Like what?
Bob Sweeney: Has anything you've done made your life better?

____________________________________


That dialogue is something applicable to every situation where one lets anger and hate take control. Brilliant scene!

The rest of the movie is just as good and it was a pity that this Oscar nominated movie didn't go on to win the Best Picture award. But something like this rarely gets made. Edward Norton carries the movie on his shoulders and well, that's it, it's a must see!

Rating - 9/10

QSQT song - Shocker of a rip off

In another example of shameless ripping off from lesser known western songs [i.e. lesser known in India] resulting in super hit "originals" we have this masterpiece from Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak:

Return to the Alamo by The Shadows here is clearly ripped off by Anand-Milind in QSQT's super hit track Akele Hain Toh Kya Gum Hai.

Dumb Q, dumb A

Q: Dude, I've heard that if you use a Bose headphone and put the volume on zero, you can hear nothing but silence, is it true?
A: Yeah only as long as you don't talk or fart!

Paranormal Activity Movie Review

Ok, so finally we have a movie that succeeds in scaring you enough that you know watching it was worth it.

This movie is more of a psychological horror movie than one of the usual horror movies that one gets to see. The best part about it was that even though you know from the start that when the night video screen comes on, something scary will happen; you think you're prepared for it, but when the scary stuff happens you're still getting scared and loving each minute of Micah and Katie getting spooked by the "evil entity".

I don't want to go into the story and spoil it for you even a bit, but this I got to say, the night video thingy becomes so great a scare tactic in the movie that towards the last 15 minutes, just the fact that the night video comes on, starts to frighten the audience. That is the beauty of a psychological thriller.

The base story is of this couple who are living together, the girl Katie starts having recurring experiences that frighten her. The boyfriend, who spends the first 30 minutes providing some laughs with his witty comments on the events going on, initially thinks of all the spookiness as some sort of a game... well the movie is basically shot in home video style and it adds to the value of the movie. The end is so freaking awesome that it takes it to the next level.

On the comparison with Blair Witch Project, I think this movie is slightly better, simply because that movie tried to, at times, fool the audience with a lot of spooky stuff happening off the camera and the end kind of messed it up. This movie isn't trying to prove some myth or any such thing, it has just one purpose to screw with your head and scare you. The movie starts of slowly and builds to a crescendo. A brilliant last 5 minutes make it the horror movie of the year. Go ahead and watch it, even though you will want to quit the movie at times because it just gets scarier and scarier you will feel compelled to finish it out of curiosity.

It has set the record as the most profitable independent film ever made having earned over $100 million with a production budget of $15,000.

4/5 for this movie.

November Rain Lyrics

This song is so famous and awesome that me posting the lyrics on the blog, is more out of respect for this amazing song than for informing anyone about it. In case you haven't heard it yet, please do so immediately. Here is the link.

Here are the lyrics of one of the greatest songs of all time:


When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
We've been through this
Such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain
Yeahh..
But lovers always come
And lovers always go
And no one's really sure
Who's lettin' go today
Walking away
If we could take the time
To lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
Then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain

Do you need some time
On your own
Do you need some time
All alone
Everybody needs some time
On their own
Don't you know you need some time
All alone

I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you

Sometimes I need some time
On my own
Sometimes I need some time
All alone
Everybody needs some time
On their own
Don't you know you need some time
All alone

And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain

Don't ya think that you
Need somebody
Don't ya think that you
Need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one
You're not the only one

Don't ya think that you
Need somebody
Don't ya think that you
Need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one
You're not the only one

Don't ya think that you
Need somebody
Don't ya think that you
Need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one
You're not the only one

Don't ya think that you
Need somebody
Don't ya think that you
Need someone
Everybody needs somebody

Another insane clothing item

After the brilliant Ipod charging bra, here is the next path-breaking clothing item which deserves mention on the blog - the venetian blind shirt

Innovation zindabad :D

Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani - Movie Review

Thankfully I saw this movie during the weekend without having read a single movie review in detail [I just saw the ratings and skipped the rest]. The movie is extremely entertaining, from the promos itself you know it isn't supposed to make any sense. It's a movie that's supposed to entertain you.

The movie is a bunch of sequences strung together to make you laugh and feel good. Staying true to it's name, the movie does have many random twists to the story. Ranbir Kapoor gives another smashing performance, be it the comedy, drama, dance you name it - he does it well. Katrina, well, just watching this woman on screen is worth the time. She just pulls of every kind of look. Her accent too in the movie is acceptable considering her story background. Some really nice touches in the movie are the stammering thingy that the two protagonists do when they get emotional. Darshan Zariwalla and Ranbir play the hilarious father and son angle very well. Two scenes in particular are awesome - in which a fantasizing Ranbir's murmurs are heard by his dad and taken to be compliments, the other is the one in which Ranbir has to get Katrina out of the bathroom before his dad enters - hilarity!

The music of the movie is extremely popular and has been done justice to in the movie. The songs don't come in the way of the story telling. One complaint I had in the movie was the stretched out fight sequence which was nowhere near the similarly stretched out fight sequence in Andaaz Apna Apna, but that was God level comedy. Apart from that minor minor glitch I loved every other sequence.

The most entertaining movie of the year, you can watch this one with friends or family.


All in all, a very entertaining movie, go have fun people!

Sachin Tendulkar - The shining star on a dark night

Today we saw a match in Hyderabad, which had one of the all time greatest ODI knocks by the man who has brought glory to India so many times that being a fan of the great man is an honour by itself.

The problem is that he is miles ahead of all the rest. Today's match for instance, just contrast the last ball catch he took with the rest of the team's efforts. Giving away 100 plus runs in the last 10 overs, how do you expect to win a game with bowlers who seem to be so secure in their mediocrity while Zaheer Khan is away? We so dearly miss Anil Kumble who actually used to put the breaks on the opposition. Mark my words, the Indian batting line up will face a similar fate once Sachin Tendulkar retires. These two men, have one huge factor in common. Determination. They have endured everything to win a match. Just think back to the game where Anil Kumble bowled with a broken jaw or the game where Sachin battled his aching back to battle Akram and co. in Chennai. A loss actually pains them. Both were miles ahead of their team mates.

The very fact that India looked like winning the game is a testimony to the Herculean effort of Mr. Sachin Tendulkar. 175 from 141 at the age of 36, batting from the first over till the 47th. What else can we ask of him? And it wasn't just the runs he scored, look at the way he did it. It was an honour to see him in action today, just as it is each time he graces the field.

During the match a friend of mine said, "Even after this innings some people will say, he doesn't play well when it counts". I told him that such remarks and comments don't deserve a reply. You can not give sight to the blind. Only fools will choose to criticize a legend like this when they should be catching every glimpse of his genius while it is still on display. In a few years there won't be the name Sachin Tendulkar on the score board when India plays. There wont be the name which tilts the game just by his mere presence. There will no longer be the man who gives us hope when there would be none if it weren't for him. We'd have these T20 wonders, people who think hitting 30 from 20 balls is a job well done. People who won't dive and would rather get run out. People who would buckle under the sheer pressure of having to chase 7 runs an over from ball one.

I for one just respect the fact that I have seen this man play innings like the one today, or the one at Sharjah, or the one in Johannesburg against Pakistan in the World Cup, or the one in the Chennai Test, innings' which were decades apart at times and yet reminded you of the single factor binding all of them - Sachin Tendulkar carrying the hopes of a billion.

In school, the entire lot of us used to watch him play, in college it was the same at the canteen or the hostel mess, now I am in office and still when he plays everyone makes it a point to see him score his 17000th run, or his 45th century, those who can't or are in a meeting have Cricinfo on their screens.

I will henceforth never bother to respond to a critic of this legend, who is above all petty complaints. I have seen a man who in one lifetime has played innings that others won't even if they were given ten.

About the match we just saw, the bowlers are the main culprits, this is not a bowling attack worthy of a team that wants to be the World No. 1! The batting line up hasn't got the patience or determination to win consistently. At the crucial times the only one who stands up to be counted is Sachin Tendulkar whose brilliance is such that even his severest critics have to applaud.

Todays game proves that Sachin Tendulkar is still and will always be the greatest batsman of our time.

Things that went wrong today:

1. Fielding
2. Bowling
3. Crappy batting by the Young brigade.
4. A thankless presentation ceremony speech by MS Dhoni [for whom I have lost a lot of respect]

Something about MSD, if you see the stats and check the number of times we have won due to Sachin under his captaincy, you'll be alarmed at how much Sachin's brilliance has contributed to his success.

Anyways, at the end of the day, Sachin will play many more such awesome innings, we will win most of the times and on a few occasions lose! But the one thing the rest of the team must remember, something that Sachin mentioned in his Man of the Match speech, "He is proud to play for India". It's India you are playing for! If only the others realized this, we would win most of these crunch games.


Thanks for yet another innings of a lifetime Sachin. Everyday your legend grows bigger!

London Dreams Movie Review

So I saw London Dreams today with friends [yes, I am vela on weekends and do take risks with my life by going for such movies] and it sucked! But even in this disaster of a movie, there was a saving grace, Salman Khan. That guy was acting so well it seemed like he was in an altogether different movie, gone was his accented Hindi which he seemed to be stuck with for the past few years, gone was the campy acting. Here was a man acting beyond what one could imagine. He did comedy and drama with his trademark charm. His role was so refreshing, that one actually felt the movie may survive but that's where the entire cast and crew delivered the killer punch. Ajay Devgn [if he changed his surname based on an astrologer then he better realize it's not his name but his astrologer that needs a change] was completely out of place in this movie. Not that he didn't act well, it's just that you can't cast someone like him as a rock star, he just can't pull it off no matter how good an actor he is. It's like asking Sachin Tendulkar to run like Usain Bolt. It won't happen, even if the man gives it everything he's got.

The dialogues suck, e.g. Bhagvan kyu tum Mannu ke gale mein baith gaye? [asks a crestfallen Ajay after he watches Mannu i.e. Salman Khan steal the show during a performance] The music sucks big time, for a movie based on a musical backdrop not one song is a super hit.

Asin, what the heck is she doing in this movie? What was her dad doing in this movie [not her real dad, her movie dad]? Why the hell was this movie made?

Now for some non LD stuff, I saw Amadeus last night, and not to act like some pretentious Hollywood worshiper, but LD is clearly a rip off of Amadeus. That movie is a 3 hour acting extravaganza. The role of Salieri [the basis of Ajay Devgn's character] is brilliantly crafted and exceptionally performed. Mozart's musical genius is well exploited in the movie. In this movie you hardly see that apart from the rip off scene in which Mannu takes a tune composed by Arjun and improves it impromptu.

I just feel bad about one thing, Salman Khan's best performance in a long time was wasted in this dud of a film. On the other hand, at least something was worth watching in the movie.

Kanye West meme - Ponting

I know the art work on this meme isn't great. But bhaavnaaon ko samjho :P

I'm gonna let you finish...

This I found absolutely hilarious... and had to put on my blog. For those of you who didn't get it, just search for the following term on Google - "Kanye West Taylor Swift" and you'll get the joke. I don't think this joke will get old, there are so many modifications possible!

Paisa vasool match that India lost

I've seen a lot of cricket right since childhood, the memory of that India Pak game where Tendulkar brought us to the brink of victory before falling still hurts. Even though India lost the match, it was an enthralling game which you'll remember forever. Since then India has improved as a team and our complete reliance on one man has come to an end.

Today however I saw a different kind of paisa vasool match that we lost. I was out all day and finally started watching the game at the stage when we required an impossible 42 runs from 18 balls and just Bhajji and Pravin at the crease who could hold the bat, Ishant and Nehra don't qualify to be called batsmen even when they have the bats in their hands. The awesome hitting that followed for the next 12 balls was so insane that it easily made up for the eventual loss, just seeing Watson getting smashed for 20 runs in the penultimate over was worth it. 9 of the last over was very likely but then, the momentum died after Bhajji left. Cricketers like Bhajji are crucial for cricket, they are the entertainers. When Bhajji bats, you will be entertained. And when he bats the way he did today, it's full too paisa vasool.

Well, seeing the crowds in the stadium, one can safely say that cricket of any kind is safe in India and the close finish shows promise for this series. Time for Sachin Tendulkar to show his masterclass yet again. Trust me non-believers he'll come to the party soon!

Can you spot the difference... err... similarity?

I don't want to go into discussing plagiarism on the blog, but I had to write this post on the blog. I recently heard the song Shukran Allah from the upcoming movie Kurbaan and immediately I had this huge feeling that I've heard this before, a few minutes later I remembered where. Now the song Shukran Allah is one of those songs that has a 20 second bit that is the best part of the song while the rest is average fair.

Here are two links, the first is the video for Shukran Allah on Youtube and the other is a video of the song The Journey by Dolores O'Riordan. The rest is for you fellas to decide.

Shukran Allah from Kurban

The Journey [Please jump to the 1st minute 11th second of the video]

Another massive massive instance I can remember is from the movie Dillagi, it's a song called Haan Haan Mujhe Pyar Hai, unbelievable how similar the two songs are. Here are the links, check them out and decide for yourself.

Can't Take My Eyes Off You


Haan Haan Mujhe Pyaar Hai (Dillagi)


The videos make it quite clear which song came first.

But what once can't digest is these songs didn't come from the famed Anu Malik, the song Shukran Allah is by Salim Sulaiman and the music for Dillagi was given by Jatin Lalit and Shankar Ehsaan and Loy.

Anyways, plagiarism in movie songs is nothing new, but the Shukraan Allah thingy was something I had to post since the song will surely be played a lot during promotion of the movie.

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist - Music and Movie Review

I was looking forward to this movie for quite some time and finally saw it a few months ago. I didn't have time to write a review back then. While watching the movie one can't ignore the perfect soundtrack that it has.

The story is about two people, Nick and Norah. Nick is the sole straight member of a gay-band called The Jerk Offs and is recovering from a bad breakup. Norah is the girl who calls herself the musical soul-mate of Nick and is in a crappy relationship with a guy whose sole purpose is to use Norah's dad's studio to release his band's album.

The story moves along during a night when Nick and Norah finally meet at a gig and spend the night looking out for their favorite band, 'Where's Fluffy', who are supposed to perform later that night. A sequence of events bring them closer to each other. The movie is based on a book and in it's treatment reminds one of Juno. Michael Cera acts well in a role he can patent - the likable loser. Kat Dennings plays the awkward Norah to perfection and does really well throughout the movie.

All in all a really nice, breezy movie which has a few laughs sprinkled on top.

The soundtrack has many songs from indie bands amongst others. My favorite songs being - Xavia by The Submarines and Lover by Devendra Banhart. A different soundtrack which goes really well with the movie. If you haven't seen it, then do so, but when you have the time to watch a movie like this one... probably a lazy Sunday afternoon. Hear the songs from the soundtrack. Nice stuff!

Staying hungry and foolish

If you're foolish, you'll stay hungry!

If you stay hungry and you stay foolish, you're probably a retard on a diet!

You can win, as soon as you stop reading crap and start doing some actual work.

Tera Hone Laga Hoon - Lyrics

This is my favorite track from the soundtrack of Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani. The lines in English aren't anything special, the Hindi lines are far more meaningful, the song is very melodious, nice job Pritam.

Music : Pritam Chakraborty
Singers : Atif Aslam,Alisha Chenoy Neeraj Shredhar
Lyricists : Irshad Kamil

Song: Tera Hone Laga Hoon

---------------------------------

Shining In The Setting Sun Like A Pearl Up On The Ocean
Come And Feel Me
Feel Me
Shining In The Setting Sun Like A Pearl Up On The Ocean
Come And Heal Me
Heal Me
Thinking Abt The Love We Make And Our Life Sharing
Come And Feel Me
HO Feal Me

Shining In The Setting Sun Like A Pearl Up On The Ocean
Come And Feel Me
Come on Heel Me

Tu Aaja Tu Bhi Mera Mera
Tera Jo Ikrarr Hua

To Kyun Na Mein Bhi
Keh Dun Keh Dun
Hua Mujhe Bhi Pyaar Hua

Tera Hone Laga Hoon
Khone Laga Hoon
Jab Se Mila Hoon

Tera Hone Laga Hoon
Khone Laga Hoon
Jab Se Mila Hoon

Shining In The Setting Sun Like A Pearl Up On The Ocean
Come And Feel Me
O Heal Me

Waise To Mann Mera
Phele Bhi Raaton Mein
Aksar Hi Chahat Ke Haan
Sapne Sanjota Tha

Phele Bhi Dhadkan Yeh
Dhun Koi Gaati Thi
Par Abb Jo Hota Hai Woh
Phele Na Hota Tha

Hua Hai Tujhe Jo Bhi Jo Bhi
Mujhe Bhi Is Paar Hua

To Kyu Na Main Bhi Keh Doon Keh Doon
Hua Mujhe Bhi Pyaar Hua

Tera Hone Laga Hoon
Khone Laga Hoon
Jab Se Mila Hoon

Tera Hone Laga Hoon
Khone Laga Hoon
Jab Se Mila Hoon

Annkhon Se Chuu Loon Ki
Bahein Tarasti Hain
Dil Ne Pukara Hai Haan
Abb Tu Chale Aao

Aao To Shabnam Ki Boodein Barasti Hain
Mausam Ishara Hai Haan
Aab To Chale Aao

Bahon Mein Dale Bahein Bahein
Bahon Ka Jaise Haar Hua
Haan Mana Mene Maana Mana
Hua Mujhe Bhi Pyaar Hua

Tera Hone Laga Hoon
Khone Laga Hoon
Jab Se Mila Hoon

Tera Hone Laga Hoon
Khone Laga Hoon
Jab Se Mila Hoon

Shining In The Setting Sun Like A Pearl Up On The Ocean
Come And Feel Me
Haan Feel Me...

The Sixth Sense

I saw it in 1999, it's twist ending is so awesome that even today, 10 years after I first saw it, the effect is just the same. This was truly an incredible movie, with Bruce Willis giving an amazing, subdued performance as the child psychologist looking for redemption after a failed patient comes back one day to change his life forever.

The child actor, Haley Joel Osment gave an extraordinary performance which was parallel only to Macaulay Culkin's awesome performance as a child actor. But obviously the roles were completely different, for different genres. Here was a kid who made a line like, "I see dead people" into a famous quote.

Finally full credit to M "Night" Shyamalan. Whatever people say about his movies today, one cannot deny that he delivered one of the all time greatest thrillers in the form of The Sixth Sense. Look at movies since then, insane budgets, special effects galore and the audience is unmoved. This movie was made for $40 million and it made more than $670 million, for a then unheard of director like Shyamalan is testimony to the quality of this movie. The much talked about twist ending is, unbelievably awesome. The beauty of it is that, he hasn't tried to fool the audience, he just divulged the information at the very end of the movie, something which is totally justified in all the scenes before once you see it in retrospect. Brilliant!

Why am I writing this today, well, because I didn't have a blog in 1999 and I just saw this movie on TV a few hours back. If for some reason, you haven't watched this movie as yet, just stop whatever you are doing and watch the movie.

P.S. - Another movie you ought to see is The Omen [the 1970's version]

Inglourious Basterds Movie Review

So I finally saw the eagerly anticipated Inglourious Basterds this weekend, and well I liked it a lot. Primary reasons, it's like any Tarantino movie, fast paced, fun and contains awesome characters with killer dialogue.
The story of the movie is simple, it involves a plot to kill the top brass of the Nazi regime when they are in a theater for a propaganda movie premiere. But screw the plot, the acting is top notch, I loved the cameo by Mike Myers playing a British officer who gives a briefing about the mission. One thing I must say, Brad Pitt was a total waste in the movie, him talking in the hillbilly accent was actually irritating and a distraction. But... but, but the movie is taken to the next level by one, standout performance by an actor named Christopher Waltz playing the character of Col. Hans Landa.



Col. Landa is the definition of an evil, cunning Nazi called the Jew Hunter. The opening scene where he has this insane conversation with a French man who is a Jewish sympathizer is brilliant. The dialogue in which he compares Nazi's and Jew's to hawks and rats is brilliant [no I am not a Nazi, it's just that the dialogue was freaking awesome].

In my humble opinion he totally deserves and Oscar for the portrayal of Hans Landa and in all likelihood will get it.

The movie is totally enjoyable and must be seen. One thing I must mention, a movie like Inglourious Basterds, which has dialogues which can be considered offensive by the Jewish community is released without any incident all over the world and becomes a super hit. One wonders if India, once upon a time a tolerant country is losing it's sense of tolerance! Think about it, maybe it's time Indians should Wake Up!

Incidents - 2

Here's an assortment of random non-topical stuff from the past few weeks, it's been a while since I posted some original crappy stuff on the blog, so here goes...


My friend asked me if I've changed my ancient, non-digital-looking Nokia 2300 and I said, "No". He asked me why? I said, "A crappy mobile... it's like a bad GF, u wanna get rid of it, but u're just too poor for a new one!"

I went to Herbs and Spices this month with some of my friends and there was this waiter who was acting really weird. For e.g. we ordered 4 soups and when we asked him to repeat the order he totally got it wrong, sweet corn was replaced by lung fung, wtf? So we were all a bit irritated by what happened, then he gets the soup and we've not even had a taste of it when he says in a slightly rude tone, "Main course boliye". I look up at him and say, "Main course!"
All four of us burst out laughing, on hindsight it's one of those stupid incidents which I really hope I don't repeat again till I'm 90 years old and probably senile, but the waiter totally started behaving normally after that and we all had some silly fun. I can't really believe I actually did that, but I guess it's one of those things!

One keeps getting calls from all kinds of banks who are so eager to dish out loans and credit cards to me, it's almost as if they've got too much money with them. The thing is they've also become smart, they call from different phone numbers and each time it starts with, "Hello, is that Mr. XYZ" and Mr. XYZ is like, "Yeah". "I'm calling from Fraudibank, would you like a personal loan?" Mr. XYZ has no qualms in ending the call. But then the next day you get a call from Bank of Balochistan asking you if you want a BOB Card and you're wondering how many banks really are there in this world? Now after all the exaggeration in this incident, time for a real narrative, I got this call asking me, "Sir, we would like to designate for you a Wealth Manager, when would you be free to meet him?" I say, "As soon as I have some wealth!"

That's all folks!!!

Google News - Confused

I just noticed this a few minutes back and thought it deserves a mention. At 8:17 AM today if one were to use Google News and go to their Sports section, something random was on display. An article about Harbhajan Singh with Dr. Manmohan Singh's photo alongside the link! Dr. Singh's photo link then takes you to this article about Indo-Pak relations what is that story doing in the sports page?

A little confused, Google News?

This man is a genius!

Robin Williams is arguably one of the greatest entertainers of all time. The man is not only a great comedian, he is also an exceptional actor. One only needs to see Dead Poets Society, which I saw some years back and it blew me away! Carpe Diem has ever since been in my thoughts every day.

Why am I suddenly writing this? Well, because while India and Australia were waiting for the rains to abate, which eventually didn't happen, I was busy searching and then enjoying some amazing stand up acts of Robin Williams. I had seen the entire Robin Williams Live on Broadway DVD in TY, but that's just the tip of the iceberg. This is comic genius in it's purest form, the man cracks hilarious jokes on the fly! A lot of my friends haven't seen much of this genius in action so I'm posting a lot of video links which I think should be seen. So whenever you have time, just check them out, Robin Williams ladies and gentlemen!

Robin Williams on Obama and Bush: Sitting in the audience, Prince Charles and family amongst others!
Robin Williams on American Idol
Robin Williams and Owen Wilson: Robin Williams lets it rip in this spontaneous interview while Owen Wilson gets completely overshadowed
Robin Williams on Golf: My personal favorite [profanity alert] from his famous Live On Broadway performance.


Take a bow Robin Williams and thanks for all the laughs, looking forward to a lot more!

They're Back!

2 of the 3 shows I've followed over the past few years had great starts to their new seasons. How I Met Your Mother and the great House MD. I'm waiting for 30 Rock next month.

Season 5 of House ended with Dr. Gregory House having voluntarily admitted himself in an asylum for curing his delusions, season 6 starts of just where it left and in such an awesome way. The best thing about the show is how it dares to break boundaries, imagine a season premiere without any of the major characters apart from House himself and a fleeting glimpse of his best friend Wilson. The premiere was a 2 episode special and a great start to a great show.





How I Met Your Mother started off pretty nicely as well, finally we get to see Barney and Robin actually as a couple, I guess as far as Ted is concerned he might take 10 seasons to get to his real wife, or maybe he could end up saying, "Well, kids, I just can't remember who your mother is 'cause I think you both were adopted!"




But more on House, I am eagerly looking forward to all the episodes of the show, it's the only 40 minute per episode show I am hooked onto along with Boston Legal. So... I'm glad they're back!

Layla Lyrics - Eric Clapton

I rediscovered this song a couple of days back, by rediscover what I mean is that I had heard it a long time ago and I forgot about it. Somehow I heard it again last week and it blew me away. Eric Clapton is one of those legends whose live performances exceed even the studio versions of their songs. If you haven't heard much of Eric Clapton please go ahead and take a look at this video - Eric Clapton on stage singing Layla

Here are the lyrics of this amazing song:


What'll you do when you get lonely
And nobody's waiting by your side?
You've been running and hiding much too long.
You know it's just your foolish pride.

Layla, you've got me on my knees.
Layla, I'm begging, darling please.
Layla, darling won't you ease my worried mind.

I tried to give you consolation
When your old man had let you down.
Like a fool, I fell in love with you,
Turned my whole world upside down.

Chorus

Let's make the best of the situation
Before I finally go insane.
Please don't say we'll never find a way
And tell me all my love's in vain.

Chorus

Chorus

Stop offering me a smoke!

Ok, this happened about an hour back. I had just narrated an incident that took place in Magarpatta City where, one day I was chilling on the benches at the ground floor of Tower XII when a gentleman, very kindly, but unnecessarily offered me a smoke, which I declined, simply because I Do Not Smoke!

Then we finish our dinner at Shisha an hour or so ago and were standing near the exit when a random gentleman - can you guess it - offers me a smoke!!! WTF!!!

I am so sorry kind smoke-sharing men of Pune, I do not smoke!!! Period. The next guy who offers me a smoke is really going to have it from me. So please keep your precious slow poison kits to yourself, I do not smoke!

Bose

Ok, so I bought a BOSE headphone last week, it was delivered ahead of time and I heard some of my favorite songs on it. It is AWESOME! Honestly, it is unbelievably good. No song will sound as good on any other headphone. I recommend it to everyone who is a crazy enough music lover to spend some extra cash and buy it. True, it is costly, but if you love something you can't put a price on it. Music is one thing I love, and Bose is my medium to connect!

Magazine Chronicles - Episode 3 - Plans

My final article for the college magazine, as always a light and occasionally humorous read :)

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Plans

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Harshvardhan L Pande
B Tech
Computers

“Look at these guys, they look so happy”, she said to me; pointing to a bunch of FY students who had just had their first day in college. We looked at them, then looked at each other and laughed. “Bechare, they don’t know what’s in store for them”, she said again. Quite frankly, neither did me. It was the last year of my engineering course. I had finished luckily with my placement work. I won’t say which company I got placed in, but let’s just say I’ll be above the poverty line even in the richest country in the world!

We were both placed in the same company; we were both in the same class, the same batch. I was pretty sure in the last few weeks that she meant a lot to me. But I didn’t know what to do. My male friends always had some advice to give –

“Just go ahead and say it man…” [Yeah, it’s very simple isn’t it? Why don’t I just hold a placard and stand in front of her house today?]
“See a man always has to take the first step…” [No wonder there were no girls sent along with Neil Armstrong to the moon]
“Dude, you have to do it, so just do it…” [I’m not too sure whether he was referring to the same thing as I was]
“Arrey you don’t know girls yaar…” [Oh really, and you are a PhD. On Female Psychology]
“All you’ve got to do is sweep them off their feet…” [Do I need a broomstick to do that?]

What was weird was that these guys who knew so much about girls; they were all single!

Time flew by, the semester was soon over. She started her project work; so did I. We went out very often in a group, but never together. If I was feeling the pressure of time, I didn’t show it, but my friends didn’t make it easy –

“Man, these college days are all you can use to enjoy, don’t wait too long…” [I wasn’t aware that life ended after college, but thanks for the tip]

But somehow even I got the feeling that I was running out of time. I had to do something, but what? So I did the next best thing, I took advice from girls. “All you have to do is impress her!” said one of her close friends, who swore secrecy about the matter. “How do I do that?” I asked. “Think of what you’re really good at” she said.

That night I went through my entire life, finding out what I was really good at. I tried singing, but I woke up the neighbors’ dog, he started barking. I then looked at a poster of Led Zeppelin on the wall, my heart sank; I couldn’t play the guitar either. For that matter I couldn’t play any musical instrument. I could whistle quite well, but somehow I couldn’t imagine myself impressing a girl by whistling. In fact I don’t think anyone in the history of mankind has done that.

All of a sudden my eyes fell upon a book lying on my study table; it was a book on Software Engineering. It had this part in which any successful software development has some stages –

Communication
Planning
Modeling
Construction
Deployment

Now, I had an EX grade in this subject and was pretty good at it. I quickly got a pen and a book and jotted down my action plan.

Step 1 – Communication
The next day, when we met, I asked her a whole lot of questions; her favorite color, cuisine, clothing, music… surprisingly I gathered a lot of information I didn’t know in all these 4 years.

Step 2 – Planning
I decided what I had to do and drew up a plan, the kind of gifts I would buy her, the place I would take her out to for dinner on the night I planned to ask the question and also went to that restaurant and made arrangements with the manager for special treatment for us on THE NIGHT.

Step 3 – Modeling
I optimized my own look in the week approaching THE NIGHT.

Step 4 – Construction
I didn’t need to construct anything, so I didn’t!

Step 5 – Deployment
I asked her out for the evening, she agreed. I borrowed my friend’s car for the evening, she was surprised. The moment she entered the car, on the dashboard was a nice gift wrapped present for her. She liked it a lot. The plan was working. We reached the place, the waiter held the door for us, it was an Italian restaurant. The manager called her “Ma’am” and addressed me as “Sir” and specially designated an exclusive waiter for our table. I made a mental note of giving a hefty tip at the end of the night. She was a little surprised about the whole thing, which was a good thing. As the night went on I gained in confidence, but each time I was about to say the 3 magic words, I had the urge to drink water.

ME: Hey listen, I wanted to tell you something…
SHE: What is it?
ME: Ummm… [picking up my glass] gulp… The food is pretty good isn’t it?

Then finally I decided to man up. I pushed away my glass and moved my chair ahead.

ME: Listen; there was a reason why I asked you to come here tonight.
SHE: Uh, huh…
ME: I have to tell you something
SHE: What?
ME: It’s like this, from quite some time I’ve had this thought… and I’ve never had the chance to tell you and it’s high time I told you…

All of a sudden her mobile rang. “Hi maa, yeah I know it’s getting late. I’ve just finished dinner… Will be home in 20 minutes… bye”

SHE: Hey, I need to get back home now. What were you saying…

The next morning I woke up really late. I didn’t even go to college that day. I couldn’t execute the plan; after her mom broke my momentum I just couldn’t go ahead and complete the quest. It was over.

The rest of the weeks went off without any major incident. I completed my engineering. The next time I met her in college was at the convocation. There we were in the graduation dress. We were clicking snaps and stuff, then there was this moment, we were about to the leave the gates of the college. Both of us were on our bikes. The others had left; it was just the two of us. “So that’s it then, the moment we leave the gates college life will officially end!” she said to me. “Yeah” I said, looking at her. “What’s the matter?” she said, sensing that something was on my mind. I got off my bike, put in on the side stand. “There’s something I want you to know…”

The next day my Orkut relationship status had changed to committed, so had hers! College life ended on the best possible note.

Magazine Chronicles - Episode 2 - The Interview

My personal favorite article, because I had written it 6 months before giving my first interview and I was quite surprised as to how accurately I got the process and mood ;)


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The Interview
Harshvardhan L Pande
502037
T.Y. B. Tech
Computers

It was the biggest day of my life; my very first interview. The last few days had been very hectic, solving loads of aptitude test papers, going through Complete Reference for the third consecutive time. Herb Schildt was my best friend along with Balagurusamy and a host of other people who took pleasure in writing computer books that just refused to fit in my college bag. All the grades and exams and aptitude tests were now to be tested one on one with the interviewers.
I had a hurried breakfast and left home. Riding a bike, my friends, is not as much fun when its raining and you have to reach dry and looking good for an interview. The Raincoat – I think they call it by that name because it is as good as wearing a coat of rain. The thing is that while it pretends to save you from the rain, it actually has planned a diabolical conspiracy to wet your clothes and shoes while you take it off! The Raincoat Gods didn’t spare me that day.
My well combed hair was in utter disarray. It’s funny how your own body works against you when you need it the most! My own hair was conspiring against me. I tried to urge them to get set, but no they wouldn’t budge, it was only after I used my trusted ally – the comb – that they fell in place [a few hair fell off onto my comb, but baldness was not an issue for me that day].
I found my friends, sitting together, going through important questions. I sat with them for an hour listening intently to questions that were “sure shot”! Well, not a single one of them was asked. The interviewers had “surely shot” them off their questionnaires.
Then finally I was asked to enter the room where the interview was to take place. Then after 5 minutes I was informed that I had to go back, because they’ve gone for lunch. Here, my future was at stake and those people were interested in a free lunch. The HR finally arrived. As always the HR was a deceptively beautiful person. Deceptive because as calming as she seemed externally, I knew inside she was waiting to destroy me and tear me to shreds. I sat down on the chair. She went through my resume. Here’s a part of our conversation.
HR: So you got 93% in HSC?
Me: Yes ma’am. [I wanted to say, “No I forged my marksheet, I actually got 71%, watcha gonna do about it!”]

HR: Why do you want to work in this company?
Me: Because I think it is a great organization with a great reputation and would nurture my talents to a higher level, while giving me an opportunity to grow in the corporate field [Yeah, right! You want to know the truth, the stock of this company is out of the roof, I’m gonna be richer than all my cousins and that elusive XBOX 360 will be mine with my first salary, not to mention the latest cell phone and who knows, a new bike]

HR: What are your strengths and weaknesses?
Me: My strengths are that I am diligent, zealous, honest and a hard worker. As far as my weaknesses are concerned, I’ve so far removed them as soon as I found them. [I nailed that answer, all thanks to www.interviewsfordummies.com, of course, the HR never found out that it always took me an hour to get a simple linked list node to work correctly, but who cares?]

HR: In your project, what role did you play?
Me: Well, we had divided the work equally and I was able to do my designing and coding modules well within the stipulated time frame. I was very comfortable working with a team. [Actually, I had to do most of the work in the last 3 days… I’ll never work with those idiots in my group again]

HR: Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?
Me: I aim to be an asset to this company. [I’ll definitely do better than you]

HR: All the answers you’ve given have been satisfactory, but somehow you’ve been very politically correct, almost like clichés. Am I right?
Me: Ahhhh… Ummmm… Ahhh… [Dammit, even she visits www.interviewsfordummies.com]

The HR started laughing, “Relax, I was only joking”. Thank God, I said mentally. I just realized how fast my heart was beating. I was very close to my first ever heart attack. Just then I had a weird thought in my head. What if I got a heart attack and wrote a note before dying that the HR was responsible, would she go to jail?

HR: Do you have any questions?
Me: No. [Excuse me ma’am, if I had a heart attack just now would you go to jail for culpable homicide not amounting to murder? No… Oh, then I don’t think I’d like to have a heart attack and die!]

After the HR round I went through for the technical, I won’t bore you with that stuff, because what transpired in there would only be of interest to Herb Schildt and Balagurusamy, because they didn’t write anything in their 1000’s of pages that would remotely have helped me that day]
But then after the technical I was out again in the room nearby, waiting with the rest of the herd.

I’ll cut to the chase; I got that job, more because of my ability and brains rather than Uncle Herb’s textbook. I went on to buy more than a cell phone and the XBOX. My fear of HR’s also reduced a bit and am glad to be working for this company, because they have a great work ethic. [And an ever increasing stock] Good luck with your interview!

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Magazine Chronicles - Episode 1 - How I Met Natalie

So here I am, a couple of months into my first job, creatively I haven't suffered much, but I sure am going through a time crunch, I haven't had the time to write new material on this blog. But I also just decided to go through with publishing all the articles I had ever written for the magazine on this blog, one at a time. So here goes -




How I met Natalie…

Harshvardhan L. Pande.
S.Y.B. Tech [Computers]

I was traveling alone and had completed the security checks at the domestic airport. The new millennium had ushered in a lot of changes, one of them being a quirk of fate which made traveling by domestic airlines cheaper than a long train journey from Delhi to Pune.

As I struggled to push my suitcase and bag, I reached the passenger lounge. It was surprisingly empty except for the sole seat occupied by a young and attractive blonde woman.

I stopped to check my appearance and arrived at the conclusion that there was nothing that could make me look worse than I already was; a very positive thought! I started walking again, but with a bit of style, the way a hero walks in a slow-motion scene in Hindi films. She was reading a magazine and was about ten feet away when, I stumbled and fell [this time nothing was in slow-mo!] My bag fell open, just to add to my misery, the blonde woman was looking straight at me!

Why God, why? I asked myself, why didn’t she look while I walked stylishly like Robert Redford and Sean Connery, and why was she staring now when I was on all fours? Where was my “dudeness” and machismo when I needed it? Anyways, moving on; I quickly got up and collected my stuff. I walked upto her and said, “May I sit here please?” “Sure”, she replied without even looking away from the magazine.

My flight was still half an hour away, which gave me time enough to at least talk to the very attractive (as I realized with a closer look) blonde. What should I ask her? Should I ask her name or which country she came from? Nah, that’d be too personal. Maybe I should start with… “So you’re an engineering student?” the blonde asked, suddenly breaking the silence. How the hell did she know? “Yeah” I said… dammit, why’d my voice crack? “How do you know that?” I asked, this time my voice was firm, almost to the extent of overcompensating. “I read the title of one of your books, Engineering Mathematics III, when you fell down” she said. “Stupid question”, my brain said to me. Five minutes passed by and not a single word was said. Well, I thought, there’s no way I can be more embarrassed than I already am; so why not make some conversation?

“My name is…” I introduced myself and told her in which college I studied. Finally she put the magazine away and said, “I’m Natalie Schneider, I work for Reuters.” We shook hands.

Reuters??? Reuters??? Reuters??? Where have I read that word?

“I was in Jaipur, to see the forts and do some research on them, now I’m headed to Mumbai and from there, I’ll be going back home” she continued talking.

Reuters??? Reuters??? Reuters??? God, I know it’s something important! Oh, please God, help me out here! She must not think that I’m stupid and that I don’t even know what Reuters is! The seconds were ticking away and I had to say something. “Reuters, huh? Must be great working for Reuters?” I said, trying to bide some time. “Yeah, it’s really exciting. This is my first outdoor report, you see” she said. “So where are you headed?” she threw another question at me.

Reuters??? Reuters??? Reuters, got it! “I’m headed for Pune, you know, Oxford of the East. How long have you been working for Reuters, the great French news agency?” I said, emphasizing the last part of the sentence. “Just about a year” she said and then smiled.

What a great smile… stop… maintain eye contact, my mind said to me. Reluctantly, I obeyed. “What about you and your college?” she asked. I told her about my family and about my college, COEP. I harped on the fact that it was one of the top ranked colleges of India! She gave me an appreciative look and then smiled again. Thank you God, for putting me in COEP! I thought as my mind drifted onto “day-dream-land”. “Tell me more about engineering in India?” she asked as she shifted her position to face me. Maintain eye contact! Those three words kept replaying in my head. Then I started narrating my engineering experiences like some wounded soldier recounting his wartime stories. I added a lot of humour to increase the interest value, she laughed a lot at the standard engineering jokes; a very good sign.

“… and after the submissions come the vivas! Somehow, the external examiner always asks questions that have no answer. It’s only after the viva is over, that you feel prepared for giving a viva!” She laughed again. I would’ve patted myself on the back for doing such a great job.
“You’re a very interesting guy” she said. Don’t blush, you’re a guy, don’t blush… its not as though you haven’t been complemented by a gorgeous French woman before… actually, it is the first time… alright, just don’t embarrass yourself! Once again I was talking to myself, but I realized soon enough, my cheeks were as red as apples. Lets face it, I was having a great time. But as usual, good times aren’t very long lasting for engineers… my flight had landed at the runway. “Its time for me to go” I said, trying to hide my disappointment. “Have a nice flight” Natalie said. We shook hands again. All of a sudden, her cell phone rang; she got a notepad and a pen from her purse and scribbled something. I saw what she was writing. She wrote…Hotel Le Meridien, Room No. 607, COEP – 2 miles. “My boss just called. He wants me to do a story in Pune, focusing on student exchange possibilities with colleges in India and France. I’ll have to stay in Pune for ten days. Which college did you say you’re in?” she asked.

Ten minutes later I was on my flight, I had her cell number, she had mine. She was going to get in touch with me the next day. I had agreed to show her around the city. Thank you Reuters and I love engineering!

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