Are those real or fake?

Are those real or fake?

A common query in the minds of guys who look at super endowed models or actresses etc. But now no more will this be a question simply in the minds of guys! And we can all thank the phenomenon called "hair transplant" for this.

Hair transplant is the male answer to the female cosmetic enhancement procedure called "implants". In the coming years when a 35+ man walks the streets with his hand running through thick, flowing black hair; women will have all the right to wonder - "Real or fake?"

Its a viral process, very strong rumors suggest that Sallu got it done a couple of years back, Arun Lal then tormented us with his newly reclaimed hairline, now Harsha Bhogle has taken the plunge. And rumor has it that in the next few weeks Sehwag of all the people in the world will unleash his... well... hair!

It's sad to see such famous baldies shed their trademark head shine, but I guess the day Fair and Handsome got accepted, it was a matter of time that men dropped gyms in favor of cosmetic enhancements!

Only time will tell whether this is a passing phase or whether "mardo vaali cream" types of people will prevail. Till then I'm praying that baldness stays away!

Awesome but sexist!

Here's a really funny pic I came across, may be a little offensive to women, coz it's pretty sexist. But take a look.

A remote control for controlling women, obviously made by men -



Courtesy - http://creativestuffforu.blogspot.com/2009/01/control-woman-with-remote.html

Keeley Hazell

Statutory Warning: If an explosion of beauty and all natural hotness seems offensive to you, stop reading right now. Girls, skip this post. Guys who are insane or too pious, quit reading further and close this tab/window. As usual don't sue me, I warned you; besides I'm not the one clicking the mouse on the links at your end. It's you all the way!

There's been a lot of buzz over Keeley Hazell and as the links and pics will prove, it's not for no reason. Move over Megan Fox, there's an even foxier thing in town. Even Indian news sites are getting involved. My only question is why wasn't India involved in such a vote? This would've been one poll for which even I would've spent my precious Airtel balance! And how come Indian's are still told that Aishwariya Rai and Deepika Padukone are the hottest women in the world!!! Which blind, senseless man[iac] would vote for them ahead of - well, just take a look:




Now, how on earth does anyone compete with... damn I have no words!

I also stumbled onto this pic from PETA [which actually stands for People for Ethical Treatment of Animals], but they're mostly famous for getting celebs to shoot steamy pics -


Now there's a very subtle message in the above photo, somehow it's supposed to tell me to go Veggy! Now here's a photo which could be used as an example for Steganography! The message stays hidden in the image, coz the image makes people forget the message, even if somehow they're able to decrypt it. Also, I would consider leaving Non-Veg food only if Keeley Hazell is figured in a similar photo as shown above!

The Pen is...

Every time we give a pen to someone, it's like a contract has been signed, the pen must be returned - with thanks! If not, then the person goes into our bad pen borrowers list and the next time he wants it, the answer is - No man, I have only one ;)

The problem arises when we lend our pen to a higher power, like a Prof or an HR or someone of that rank. It's like this, after they finish using the pen, they can do 2 things -

1. Either return it
2. Forget about returning it.

If they return it, then that's fine, they smile - thanks you and its over. You smile as if you just saved their lives and the pen was their life support system and then feel good about yourself and your pen; that's it, life goes on.

But... if they forget, wow! The world comes crashing down. What do you do? Well 2 things:

1. Ask for it
2. Forget about it

If you choose option 2, then you always remember the great betrayal. "That man/woman cannot be trusted with a Lexi 5, leave alone anything of higher value!"

But if you ask for it, then there are a lot of complications -

1. The borrower may think that you're accusing them of having bad intentions about your pen.
2. Are you so petty that you're obsessed with a 5 rupee pen?
3. I was about to return it on my own, how dare he ask me!


When is it the right moment to ask for the pen to be returned? What are the right words? I shouldn't sound too aggressive! I shouldn't be submissive! It's my pen, its my pen... give it back you @!#$#@!!!
"Uhhh, excuse me ma'am... uhhh... I think that's my pen... uhhh... hehe..." [WTF I dont "think" it's my pen, it IS my pen, give it back you pen stealing bitch (or bastard if male) ]
"Ohh... I'm so sorry, i must've forgotten, here, thanks a lot" [Ofcourse she forgot, what a louse I am, look at her smile... she obviously forgot, I shouldn't have asked her]
"Your welcome ma'am... thank you"

All of a sudden, you're the one who's feeling bad about asking... what was I thinking man! In fact, she should keep it.

If its a girl and she's hot, then its very tempting to ask her back for the pen, in fact you hope she doesn't give it back on her own and you get a chance to have the upper hand!

Story:

Hot girl in the bank forgets her pen. Me having a lucky day have exactly what she needs. She fumbles looking frantically in her purse, but it's not there... thank you lord! You step in, "umm... you can have my pen" She flashes that lovely smile and takes it, by god she is so hot, if i put a picture of her next to a jug of water, the water would turn into steam! "I'll just take five minutes with your pen", she says. You can take as long as you want, babe!
Then she forgets about the ownership rights of the pen and puts it back in her purse. The lord is my savior... now is the time to strike.
[Excuse me, could I have my pen back, and maybe you could write down your phone number with it on a paper and hand that back to me as a return gift]

"Uhhh... I think that's my pen... hehe" [that hehe was unnecessary]
"Ohhh... I'm so sorry... i have such a bad memory... thanks a lot" [Oh man, that smile is oh so sweet]
She gives the pen back... time is slipping away, fuck the phone number, I don't even have her name. Be a man - "My name is..." , the smile on her face becomes wider and she says, "I'm Shweta" [Awesome! Now if only i could get her phone number] But then that's the end of that. Her work is done, she turns around giving me a smile and walks away. Even watching her walk away is a pleasing sight!

Suddenly, I'm the one in front of the counter, the frustrated, fat, hideous lady at the counter needs to sign on a slip, she too can't find her pen. This time, neither can I!

Epilogue -
How many hot chics are there in your bank? How many of them are called Shweta? Not that tough to find someone in that kind of a shortlist. The pen is indeed mightier than the sword!

Advertisements

There are loads of crappy ads on TV, but one brand that always delivers knock-out ads each time is AXE. I mean seriously - these guys [am sure only guys can conceive such blatant male fantasy ads] come up with outstanding ads each time. They're so good that even women can't help smirk while watching them.
One particular ad that strikes me i the one where this lone guy on an island starts spraying himself with AXE and all off a sudden, hot women start converging onto him from Air, Land and Sea. That people was an awesome ad! Think of the research they must have done to find so many hot women [for an engineer in COEP, it would've proved an impossible task to find even one AXE worthy babe. No offence girls, I'm not Brad Pitt either; but facts are facts]

Then off late the Kit Kat ad was also good, the one in which the guy bites the Kit Kat and fantasizes about hot women having 'worked on' the Kit Kat!

Now i must mention the 'male innerwear commercials'. Boy oh boy, are there some intellectually bankrupt men making those commercials. Its almost a standard -

1. Some girl is being troubled by some dude
2. Enter guy in just an underwear
3. He kicks the ass of the other dude [who obviously lost only because he didn't use the same brand of undies]
4. Girl just falls crazily in love with guy with underwear
5. Guy with underwear then has the girl in his arms and smiles

Then there was this other ad, slightly better, about a guy and his chic who wants to 'do it' with his girl, but somehow things don't happen; until she stumbles into his room and magically gets seduced by his underwear!
Dude, if you're in a room with a hot girl and you have just 1 piece of clothing on you, am sure that the brand of your innerwear is the last thing she is thinking about. You might as well use Bhilwara Underwear aur Baniyan with as much success as Dollar Club or the greatest of all VIP Frenchie!

Coming back to Axe, they also use subtlety to great effect -



In anticipation of many more awesome Axe ads, here's me ending yet another pointless post!

This one had to be on my blog

I know i'm very late in putting this one on my blog but i had to. Brilliant! Courtesy, Yasho, Meha and xkcd!

The Market

The Market... I've used this term a lot with my friends off late, and I thought it's time to share it on my blog. It all starts with a simple question - Are You In The Market?

It encompasses a whole lot of sub-questions. To say yes to the above question directly implies all the sub-questions. A "no" to the question is ambiguous because that can mean a 'no' to any or all of the sub-questions.

"Are You In The Market?" implies:

1. Are you single?
2. Are you available?
3. Are you looking around?

Now we come to a different but related topic of interest - The Market.
The Market is composed of any or all sites that are possible areas for meeting people who Are In The Market.
A very important point, The Market does not involve buying or selling as such... it's just called The Market. Generally; Market zones are clubs, discos, cafes etc.

It's pretty difficult to ask all the 3 sub-questions to a person of the opposite gender in whom you have an interest. If a girl is single, she may not still be available; if a guy is single, he may not be looking for someone [this happens very rarely, and such guys are either really awesome or really sucky], and other such combinations of reasons may be present. So asking a simple question about one's Market status can result in finding out a lot in a single stroke.

So, Are You In The Market?

Anti Male Chauvinist Order

Yes people, it's true... the Age Of Men is finished. Women have taken over. Traditional rules of the Male Chauvinistic Days are over, for good!

For some this may come as bad news, but for others it means a time for change. I now propose the Anti Male Chauvinist Order:

1. Women are superior to all men, hence they have more power and therefore more responsibilities [by order of Peter Parker's Uncle]

Detailed meaning: Women who thus far weren't given full freedom to do what they wished shall now have all the power they can handle. This also means greater responsibility.
Women now not only have the weak powers of looking after kids, they also have the power to choose their profession of choice. Hence they are now not only responsible for bringing up the children, but also need to look after finances.

2. Men are only objects for women and are generally useless.

Men have only one responsibility, i.e. to attract women. Men will only be present on earth for the pleasure of women. Since women have taken over this world, and they are superior to men; men shall not be given any responsibilities whatsoever. Since men have to be in a pleasant state of mind to provide their services to women, all their needs must be catered for which are, Booze, Bikes, Gyms, TV, Music, Mobiles.
These 6 basic necessities will not be compromised and will be Constitutionally ensured. Failure to provide these means will mean that the Woman of the House is exploiting her Man.

By Law - Cheerleaders are compulsory at every event, including Birthday Parties.
- 33% Reservation for Males is every govt. institution

Former Male Chauvinistic males were seen welcoming this new World Order. Some men were seen fleeing to countries like Russia and Brazil to ensure strict enforcement of this new Regime.

Watch this space for more on this new Phenomenon!