Sucky ads - Rant for the month

Dear ad-makers,

PFB a set of crappy ads you folks have been coming up with in the recent past:

1. A super crappy ad about a old hag who realizes after about 50 years that some Kantilal had made out with his chic and wants to take revenge, by breaking Mr. K's teeth. He says this to his teenage grandson. What a kick ass grandpa-grandson bonding moment!

The grandpa then finds Mr. K thanks to a social networking site accessed by his grandson's 3G device. They head off to take 'revenge', where the 'tharak max' grandpa gives a peck on the cheek to Mr. K's wife (without checking if she was his wife, in my twisted spoof version of the ad Mr. K will have the last laugh by telling 'tharaki grandpa' that the woman he kissed was his 'bai')

Tharaki grandpa then runs way past his grandson, jumping with joy, giving you the feeling that the ad could also be a confused 'musli power' type product ad.

2. Random guy asks a flop movie star a question, "Why is India's population so high?"

What follows is the most idiotic explanation of all time.

Apparently, when power cuts occur, men suddenly realize the lack of entertainment in their life due to the T.V. set not functioning. They then give 'havas' looks to their wives who comply and eventually get pregnant. Lo, behold, India's population explosion.

How do we prevent it? Condoms? Nope, just give everyone a particular brand of 3G service and then as the ad suggests, 'biwi se 3G'. They'll start watching porn on their mobiles all night and all is well.

The first ad is just downright stupid, the second is an insult to one's intelligence and a downright insult to women, shamelessly objectifying them as entertainment.

There are several other irritating as hell ads on TV, especially the one with the fat-ass with a beard who mouths a Hindi expletive every-time he watches sports in HD.

Such wannabe ads are increasing day by day, one wonders if ever intellect will make a comeback. TV shows had become unbearable years ago, the only time one watches TV is for sports and now even that experience is being destroyed by loud, insulting ads.

Dear ad-makers, you are the last hope of a generation that is in danger of abandoning the TV. Please don't assume that just because Delhi Belly became a hit, we want to hear abuses. Please don't try to make some non-funny ad seem funny by putting in fake laughter in the background (an insult to anyone who has seen Seinfeld). Please give us some proof that you haven't run out of ideas!

Pehli Pehli Pagaar Hai, Pehli Pehli Baar Hai

Sorry for the lame title for the post, but there's something about salary and job terms in Hindi which is just missing in the English translation. For e.g. Salary and Employee just don't have the down and dirty feel to it as words like 'pagaar' and 'karmchaari' have :P

So as an honest and diligent karmchaari, that I hope I am, it gives me great pleasure to tell you that I along with a host of fellow karmchaaris of various companies got their pagaar today, which was evident from so many of them putting it up on their gtalk status msg's almost saying, "Yeah people, that's right, go ahead and ask me for a treat!"

Now let me tell you, in an honest and completely non-sarcastic way that yes, it is a great feeling to earn your first ever pay. It feels awesome and has a different sense of fullfillment to it. Now I really didn't feel any anticipation or any such thing and just calmly read the message which told me how I had now got some cash with me which gave me a chance to finally stop applying for the Indira Gandhi National Urban Employment Guarantee Scheme! But I didn't take it too seriously, all of a sudden there were all these people with their status messages having changed. It went to such an extent that if one didn't have a status saying "Got my first sal" or "First sal feels awesome" or something like that, it almost meant that you didn't get yours. Well, so before someone asked me "Dude, u didnt get ur salary or wat?" I decided to put up my own declaration of financial independence on gtalk!

Anyways then started the whole "kitna mila" routine followed by the usual "confidential hai" reply. But the real meaning of the term first salary was felt when I returned home and saw the joy on my family members' faces, that's when I realized what it means, being an earning member of the house, well it's like what Spiderman's Uncle told him "With great power comes great responsibility"! It's great to have the power to buy what you want, go where you want; but it's also a responsibility to buy the right things and to go to the right places.

So I went to the best place and bought the best thing possible, I went to Chang's [my fave joint in Viman Nagar] and bought the best dishes they had on offer ;)

So people, that's the story of my first sal, i.e. the story so far!

10,000

Ten Thousand is a big number, and that's also soon to be the number of hits my humble blog has received. I've written close to 120 posts, close to a 100 posts already this year. Imagine the amount of time I've wasted, downloading and uploading photos, posting hyperlinks, writing stories and articles ranging from college stuff to Sachin, to Keeley Hazell and Megan Fox.
Boy, I should've used my time better ;)

Keeley Hazell

Statutory Warning: If an explosion of beauty and all natural hotness seems offensive to you, stop reading right now. Girls, skip this post. Guys who are insane or too pious, quit reading further and close this tab/window. As usual don't sue me, I warned you; besides I'm not the one clicking the mouse on the links at your end. It's you all the way!

There's been a lot of buzz over Keeley Hazell and as the links and pics will prove, it's not for no reason. Move over Megan Fox, there's an even foxier thing in town. Even Indian news sites are getting involved. My only question is why wasn't India involved in such a vote? This would've been one poll for which even I would've spent my precious Airtel balance! And how come Indian's are still told that Aishwariya Rai and Deepika Padukone are the hottest women in the world!!! Which blind, senseless man[iac] would vote for them ahead of - well, just take a look:




Now, how on earth does anyone compete with... damn I have no words!

I also stumbled onto this pic from PETA [which actually stands for People for Ethical Treatment of Animals], but they're mostly famous for getting celebs to shoot steamy pics -


Now there's a very subtle message in the above photo, somehow it's supposed to tell me to go Veggy! Now here's a photo which could be used as an example for Steganography! The message stays hidden in the image, coz the image makes people forget the message, even if somehow they're able to decrypt it. Also, I would consider leaving Non-Veg food only if Keeley Hazell is figured in a similar photo as shown above!

Incidents

I saw a beggar who had a 500 rupee note with him. I ain't lying he can be seen everyday near Jehangir Hospital. That day, he had more money than me!!!

I met the hottest girl during an aptitude test recently! One of the most unexpected places to meet a chic.

This girl I know suddenly became superhot the day she stopped tying a pony-tail and removed her braces! {People jokingly call her 'hot Jassi'}

A guy slapped a waiter at a restaurant [he was either drunk or stupid], the waiter then punched the guy, who fell down. I haven't gone to that restaurant ever since.

I know only 1 person in this world who has a poster of Scarlett Johansson, Madonna, Fergie, Angelina Jolie and The Great Khali in the same room.

I was traveling with a friend on his bike, we had to get to PICT for some event and we didn't know the exact way... he was driving the bike damn rashly and almost hit a rickshaw. The rickshaw driver called my friend - "Ch***ya". My friend looked at him and said "Bhaisaab, PICT ke liye left lena hai ya right?" The rickshaw driver looked bewildered and said, "Right"

A friend of mine in a philosophical note once said - "Dude, after 3 years of engg, i have realized ... any chic is better than no chic and any job is better than no job"

The most "adult" story any friend has ever narrated to me, has been narrated by a girl!

Hasan and I have a record of winning 1st prize at each Paper Presentation Contest for which our PPT was not even finished until 10 minutes before the event!