Arguably the most screwed up SMS I've read this year

Ok, this I found hilarious. I read the following SMS and couldn't believe how screwed up someone's English can be. This person wrote this message with the intent of saying something profound, but has no clue of context or pronunciation and what we get is a masterpiece of divine stupidity and jackassness!
Here is the SMS:

------------------------
Life is library
Love is temporary
God is great
Life is sweet
Yesterday is waste
Today is best
Tomorrow is taste
So enjoy everyday
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Awesome Chat Snippet

Awesome segment of a chat i just had with a school friend of mine who i last spoke to in 7th std.
-----------
Friend: howz life man
Me: i'm fine dude...in Pune, working for a management consulting firm. wat hav u been upto
5:25pm
Friend: I have a construction company
I have a textile company
5:26pm
Me: awesome... only thing left for me to say now is mere paas maa hai :D:D
-----

Needless to say, the spark of friendship is still just as fresh as it was a decade ago!!!

It's Here

Ok, so the promised blog is here.

Read on.

Inspiring Indian War Stories

This post is to declare my intention of starting a new blog very soon, which will be of a slightly serious nature. In the sense that it will be a set of stories of brave deeds of the Indian Armed Forces pre and post Independence.

I come from an Army background and hence have heard of a number of amazing war stories, things which civilians have never heard of, things which our textbooks should have, but don't. I am no historian and would never dare to write anything fictional about the Armed Forces ever. Hence what this blog will have, a set of excerpts of amazing true stories from all over the Internet and from some books.

I do hope you visit the blog once it is opened and I also hope it does excite you, entertain you and in some small way make you feel even more proud of being an Indian.

I don't intend to come across as being pretentious, but I am 22 years old now, and I have never heard anyone in the mass media focus on these amazing stories. If even one of these stories is new for you, the purpose of the blog will be served.

Washing Powder Nirma and Amazing Talent

If you are my friend on Facebook or have me on your GTALK list then I've probably already told you about this video by now. But this video is so hatke, I think it needs a mention on my blog too. This is some dude, with a guitar and a pretty kick ass voice, singing his version of the 'Nirma' jingle which we have all heard while growing up in the 90's and even now the ad plays almost the same jingle.

The part I like about this video is how, one can use talent and awesome creativity to totally turnaround a simple jingle into a freaking awesome short song. The guy puts in his soul into a friggin' jingle! It's one of the best videos I've seen this year, just for it's random awesomeness effect.

I initially thought it was funny, but then I heard it again and then again and well, whoever you are dude [from the video], hats off! Awesome voice and brilliant creativity.

If you haven't seen the video, here is the link for it.

Short Story - 1

All characters and incidents appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, locations, incidents, is purely coincidental.
--------------------------

He walked swiftly... he knew there wasn't much time. He turned left, he looked around, he couldn't see a soul anywhere near him. He quickened his pace, hope rising in his heart with each step. He reached the door, stuck his hand out, turned the knob... the door was locked. His muscles tightened, he realized time was running out for him. Sweat forming on his forehead. He had to hurry. Please God, he begged. There was another door, to his right. He hastened towards it, tried the door. Locked. Damn it! He was breathing fast now, he didn't have much energy left. He turned around, there was one final door, he looked over his shoulder, wondering if there was anyone else approaching. He stopped breathing for a second and concentrated, he couldn't hear anyone else around. This was his last chance. If this door didn't open, it was all over. He moved quickly, desperation in every step. He lunged towards the door as he had no time to walk the last two steps. He turned the knob so hard, he almost wrenched it off the door itself. It was open, he had but a few seconds left to avert disaster.

Ten minutes later.

Sound of a flush... the victorious hero steps out... from the office rest-room!

Life is Busy

I have been super busy since quite some time and it's taken a toll on my blogging. Whatever free time I get, I spend it in sleeping or catching up with friends or watching a movie and off late, in enjoying the IPL.

Everyone is busy with work, but some of us have more than usual work loads, it depends on luck and job profiles; but I have been having an exceptionally busy time. It's been fun at most times.

I will be back soon though with more of David Flabbergaster, one liners and random incidents pretty soon. The stories are all in my head and I'm waiting for some free time to put them up on the blog. Meanwhile, if you happen to visit the blog, read up on some of the links in the 'Recommended Reading' post to which I have a link at the start of the blog on the right hand side.

And if you've been in touch with me on the phone I am sure you already do know some of the stories ;)

Hope I get some free time pretty soon. See you later!

Loins of Punjab Presents

I have never had so much fun watching a crossover film as I had while watching Loins Of Punjab Presents. It has some hilarious scenes and brilliant acting by the entire crew. The movie is about a 'Desi Idol' contest which is being sponsored by a company called Loins Of Punjab. They choose this lecherous organizer by the name of Bokade for the show, played brilliantly by Jameel Khan. The movie then shows the experiences of all the candidates who appear on the show for auditions and progress forward. Shabana Azmi plays a very bitchy socialite who wants to win the contest at any cost and plays the role to perfection. I loved the ending of the movie, which is really perfect for it. Special mention must be given to Seema Rehmani who plays Sania Rehman, a woman who can't speak Hindi at all but is in love with Bollywood. One line she says is pretty cool, 'Hollywood movies are so one dimensional, it's either an action movie or a romantic movie or a drama. But a Bollywood movie combines all of it in one. I don't know how to speak Hindi, but then again, I want to be an actor, so it's fine' :D

Another standout performance is by Ajay Naidu as Turbanotorious B.D.G. The man is hilarious in the role of a wannabe gangsta-bhagra-king! Insane performance, thoroughly enjoyable. The man dances very well in his performance scenes. Watch-out for the song 'Dhagi Naki Naki Naki Dhin Tara' funky song!

Shaan comes in for a special appearance as a judge in the final round and gives a brilliant WTF expression in one scene where one rejected contestant off stage starts singing the male version of 'Bole Chudiya' when Sania Rehman sings the female part on stage. Hilarity! Bokade is brilliant in a scene when he has a hangover and has to announce the results of the prelim round. Each time he announces a winner, the winner starts celebrating loudly and he gets pissed because of the loud celebrations :D Lots of other hilarious scenes especially with Darshan Zariwalla as a Gujju family patriarch trying to make sure his daughter wins the contest.

The movie is a must see, can't imagine someone not liking it. I for one loved it and would recommend it to everyone.

Karthik Calling Karthik - Movie Review

One Word - Bakwaas!

If you still want to read more, here you go.

I have seen a lot of bad movies, and I never thought I'd hate a movie more than Singh Is Kinng and then I saw Karthik Calling Karthik.

I won't even insult your intelligence by telling you the story line, because it is pointless. The movie is riddled with crappy over-acting by Deepika in almost every scene, lousy situations which try to be cool/cute/intelligent but are completely the opposite. Farhan Akhtar is an OK actor but he is far better as a director and should stick to it. I have nothing good to say about this movie.

Nadia - Lesser Know but Awesome Song

I just stumbled onto this song while going through my bro's iPod. Freaking brilliant, if you like to experiment with fusion once in a while. Later, when I was just randomly Googling the song, I stumbled onto many versions of this song played brilliantly by Jeff Beck. Take a look at one of those versions.

The song is called "Nadia" by Nitin Sawhney and Reena Bharadwaj.

Star Screen Awards - Good ceremony, crazy award choices

Disclaimer: Fans of Paa do not read this post! Fans of Love Aaj Kal do not read this post.


I happened to catch some parts of the Star Screen Awards last week and I thought the jokes that night were pretty well done. But freaking hell, did they mess up the actual awards bigtime!

Some screamers:

Best Dialogues - Abhijat Joshi, Raju hirani (3 Idiots)

Are you kidding me, KAMINEY people! It had the lines of the year! Especially when it comes to quality and depth of thought.

Best Lyricist - Irshad Kamil For Choor Bazari ( Love Aaj Kal)

WTF, when you have Gulzar nailing every song of Kaminey with awesome lyrics, you nominate and then give the award to the most lame song of Love Aaj Kal, even Yeh Dooriyan was better.

Best Music Director - A R Rahman ( Delhi 6 )

I love A R Rahman's music, but Dev D was far superior to Delhi 6!

Best Jodi of the decade: Shahrukh Khan and Kajol

While giving away this award they showed clips of DDLJ and KKHH, both movies from the 90's, I think they got confused about which decade they were giving away the award for, as it is I think it should have gone to SRK and K Jo :D

Best Editing Results - Raju Hirani (3 Idiots)

Dev D being technically superior to 3 Idiots should have been given it's due! One only has to look back to the dope scenes of Abhay Deol to know which had superior editing.

Best Story - Imtiaz Ali ( Love Aaj Kal)

An award for Best Story given to a movie which had the crappiest 2nd half of the year! They might as well have given it to Blue or Kambakth Ishq.

The final screamer:

Best Actor: Amitabh Bachchan (Paa)

I have the greatest respect for AB, but please! Out of sheer respect for his tremendous skill I wanted to refrain from shredding the movie Paa on my blog. But then when performances like Dev in Dev D and Shahid's awesome double role in Kaminey are ignored for trashy campy rubbish like Paa, one can't help it. It was a disastrous movie which just got away with the sympathy card and was called a hit! It's almost a crime to criticize movies made on people suffering from problems, but honestly Paa was trash!

I really wish award ceremonies stopped celebrating camps in Bollywood and instead actually gave awards to the deserving performances!

Dil Toh Bachcha Hai Ji - Lyrics

My first fave of the New Year, it's a song from the movie Ishqiya. I especially liked the remix version, the original is also amazing. Brilliant track from the amazing combination of Gulzar and Vishal Bharadwaj.



Aisi uljhi nazar unse hatt ti nahi
Daant se reshmi dor katt ti nahi
Umar kab ki baras ke safaid ho gayi
Kaari badari jawani ki chatt ti nahi
Walla ye dhadkan bhadne lagi hai
Chehre ki rangat udne lagi hai
Darr lagta hai tanha sone mein ji
Dil to bachcha hai ji
Dil to bachcha hai ji
Thoda kaccha hai ji
Haan dil to baccha hai ji
Aisi ulji nazar unse hatt ti nahi
Daant se reshmi dor katt ti nahi
Umar kab ki baras ke safaid ho gayi
Kaari badari jawani ki chatt ti nahi
Ra ra ra ..

Kisko ptaa tha pehlu mein rakha
Dil aisa baaji bhi hoga
Hum to hamesha samajhte the koi
Hum jaisa haaji hi hoga
Hai zor karein, kitna shor karein
Bewaja baatein pe ainwe gaur karein
Dilsa koi kameena nahi
Koi to rokey, koi to tokey
Iss umar mein ab khaogey dhokhe
Darr lagta hai ishq karne mein ji
Dil to bachcha hai ji
Dil to bachcha hai ji
Thoda kaccha hai ji
Haan dil to baccha hai ji


Aisi udhaasi baithi hai dil pe
Hassne se ghabra rahe hain
Saari jawani katra ke kaati
Piri mein takra gaye hain
Dil dhadakta hai to aise lagta hai woh
Aa raha hai yahin dekhta hi na woh
Prem ki maarein kataar re
Taubah ye lamhe katt te nahi kyun
Aankhein se meri hatt te nahi kyun
Darr lagta hai mujhse kehne mein ji
Dil toh bachcha hai ji
Dil toh bachcha hai ji
Thoda kaccha hai ji
Haan dil toh baccha hai ji


5/5 for this song.

Why December was such a great movie month...

You have a roller coaster year, then have an incredibly busy December. You work your ass off all month, burn the midnight lamp, when even that goes off, you just bear the excess strain of the laptop light in your eyes and carry on working. But then comes that occasional evening when you decide that it's movie time. You pay big bucks for it and go to the theater... hoping, praying even, that at least it won't be a total waste of money. Then... all of a sudden, from nowhere you get to see something on the big screen that makes you thank God that you bought that ticket and came to the theater.

That happened to me twice in close succession this month. I saw two outstanding movies.

Avatar and 3 Idiots. I didn't even have time to write a review for Avatar, but now that I've just come home fresh from watching 3 Idiots, I think it'd be unfair to praise one while forgetting the other.

Avatar showed me special effects that totally made up for the super expensive price of the ticket. 3 Idiots showed us why Rajkumar Hirani is easily the best director of the decade and why Aamir is the Ace of Bollywood. Both the movies have amazing repeat value. Both have super expensive tickets, but both are totally worth it.

Avatar has brilliant special effects along with a decent storyline to back it up.

3 Idiots... IMHO is far far better than the book it is inspired from. The best moments of the movie have nothing to do with the book. That is why I loved the movie. You know that in the end everything will be fine, but you still are engrossed in the movie, rooting for the characters. Anything that has repeat value, has it because what you've seen impresses you so much that you want to see it again. That is what Avatar and 3 Idiots do to you. They make you enjoy the show so much, you just know it by the interval that you will be back in the queue to watch another show very soon.

Special mention to Boman Irani, whose performance in 3 Idiots seems extremely natural. I think he doesn't get enough credit for the incredible work he does in Raju Hirani movies, each movie he has been the pivotal antagonistic character [not a villain in the usual sense], but each time he plays the character so naturally that it's not Boman Irani you remember, you just remember Dr. Asthana or Lucky Singh or Viru Sahasrabuddhe aka Virus :P

All in all, a brilliant movie month. One can only hope there are more such months in the coming year. Thank you James Cameron and Raju Hirani!

December

December 09 has been by far the busiest month of my life. Everything has been in fast motion. I've worked crazy hours [current personal record being 19 hours in the day], slept very little [an average of 4 hours for 2 straight weeks], spent an entire weekend working [a first ever] and still managed to catch Avatar, Rocket Singh, Paa [wtf] and a host of other movies that I found time to catch up with. I managed to keep in touch with friends no matter what. Basically, a lot happened.

Fortunately along with a lot of work, I did end up having a lot of fun as well.

A brilliant photo of a brilliant Tendulkar shot

Source Link - http://blogs.cricinfo.com/shotselection/archives/2009/11/tendulkar_turns_it_around.php

This photo looks like it's a straight drive, but since the wicketkeeper is facing Sachin, it obviously is not a straight drive. Tendulkar used this shot against Warne in his first innings century in the third Test in Chennai in 2001. A match we eventually won! Stuff that only true cricket lovers will enjoy. Brilliant photo!